I may not have a girlfriend...

But I do have some amazing friends. For the last 3 years I have developed a tradition of sorts when it comes to Valentine's Day. See because I am chronically single on this date I have decided I needed something to take my mind off the unspeakable horror that is being single. Thanks to a wonderful little restaurant here in Seattle I think I have found just the thing. I present to you the Grande Burrito -

Hailing from Gordito's Healthy Mexican food (proof that Mexicans are HUGE fans of irony and sarcasm) weighing in at around 4 lbs, y what you are seeing is a Grande Carne Asada wet Fajita style Burrito and is most regularly said to be the size of a baby. Every year I get some of my closest male friends together and we try our best to consume the beast in an effort to forget those girls that have broken our hearts. As I was over heard saying, if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach we were going to clog that hole with burrito. Some highlights from this year are:

  • This was the first year a woman was allowed to join us. However I don't think the rule was violated since technically Nickie didn't eat anything, she just wanted to see if anyone could eat it all. Plus she's engaged so she really isn't a woman anymore.
  • Also a first was this was the first time I allowed someone to not get a burrito. Ty drove us and he's not a fan of the burrito so I let him get whatever. I feel like he lived up to the challenge since it seems EVERYTHING there is enormous portions.
  • Kurt however forgot to say grande when ordering his burrito so he received Gordito's normal sized burrito, or as he referred to it "the 5 month old aborted fetus burrito". It's comments like that that are why I love Kurt.
  • Once again I was the only one who managed to eat the entire thing. I don't know why I am so proud of this feat but it really does make me happy. Clearly I am a sick man and should you ever hear me complain about being fat (not making light of it for laughs there is a difference) remind me that I need to shut up because it's because of crap like this that I am fat in the first place.

So I am thankful for all of my friends and their willingness to spend time with me and bond with me in such a weird and odd manner. You guys really help me stay sane when I could have gone off the deep end a long time ago.

That being said - I really do hope I don't get to do this next year.


Dericho said...

This was the third year in a row that I've done baby burritos with you. (I count two years ago because I accepted your invite but went to the wrong restaurant.) I also hope I don't have to do it next year, but at the same time, I kind of hope I do...only if you're there.

Kurt said...

Bastard, you hope you dont get to do this again next year. I am glad it is a guys thing because that means even if I do have a boyfriend we could both come. Gosh, i love loop wholes.