My interesting Thanksgiving

Alright so everyone has their own Thanksgiving stories. Some are funny, some are sad, some are weird, some are pretty boring. I honestly am not sure where this one falls but I'm gonna share it anyway.

Alright so my thanksgiving story actually starts a couple months ago. I work out in Bellevue and since I don't have a car I ride the bus every single night. A couple months ago I actually started paying attention to my commute home instead of the usual listening to my far too loud ipod and falling asleep and I noticed something. Specifically I noticed that there was this cute well dressed blond girl who got off at the same stop I did and walked in the same direction of me afterward until I turned up Roosevelt for the 30 minutes walk home.

Naturally I exuded my usual level of confidence and started talking to her. Oh wait no I didn't. Instead I just kept walking and kept wanting to talk to her. And then a weird thing happened a couple weeks later, SHE started talking to me. Nothing beyond getting to know you stuff or talking about work but still she was talking to me.

Alright so fast forward about a month or so and it's now Halloween time and I'm trying to figure out how to make my John Belushi from Animal House costume work and turkey is the furthest thought from my mind, and she starts asking me about my Thanksgiving plans. Slightly distracted and confused why we are talking about this over a month in advance, I tell her that I won't be going home for Thanksgiving because I knew my luck and I figured I'd wind up working on Black Friday and a trip to the Tri-Cities would just be silly if it's just for less than a day. Then she did the unexpected - she invited me to her house for Thanksgiving. I'll be honest I REALLY wanted to say I couldn't. I mean we barely knew each other, why was she doing this? I didn't even know her last name, you would think that kind of information would be something you would want your holiday guests to know. However, it's October. I had no other plans yet (my step mom is notoriously last minute with inviting me and wouldn't get around to it until 2 days before Thanksgiving) and I didn't want to lie to this nice girl so I said yes.

The weeks went by and for the most part I didn't tell people about my plans, if for no other reason than I already knew the only two responses I would get. In the red corner of this discussion you have the people who think that clearly I will be spending my Thanksgiving making out profusely with this girl and she likes me and knew I am a coward so she took the first step to get with me. I didn't fall into this train of thought because of all the things about her from the months of talking I distinctly remember her mentioning a boyfriend once. I didn't remember her name half the time but I knew she had a boyfriend. Then we have the blue corner. These people thought she was going to kill me and bury me in the basement, or in the instance that she lacked a basement she was going to go cannibal on me and I was going to become thanksgiving dinner. I refused to believe this one too if for no other reason than she seemed too nice, and I'm far too fat to make for a delicious meal. I know fat is what makes it taste good but you're still gonna want a lower percentage of body fat if you're gonna eat someone. I just innocently enough thought she was being nice, thought I was funny and wanted people like that at her meal, especially if they aren't going to be spending the holiday with family.

The more I started talking to people about this though the more my mind started to wonder, mostly about the red corner's argument the blue corner is just silly. And honestly the more I thought about it the more I wanted out of this meal. However every single time I saw her she would remind me and make sure I was still planning on going. I was stuck and I figured I might as well have fun with this and enjoy myself the best I can.

She even gave me a small invitation. Nothing big, it was hand written on part of her schedule (alas not the part with her name on it, I checked as I was kinda getting tired of calling her Ann Taylor girl) but still it was a legit invite. I was obligated. On the invitation she said to bring something and the only thing I could think of were these delicious cheese biscuits my "mom" makes all the time. So I called her for the recipe. She laughed when I told her the story and then gave me what wound up being the easiest recipe ever. Bisquick, cheddar, water. I wound up making way too many of them and making them way too big. I forgot most people aren't like my family.

After I made my biscuits I threw them in a bowl and headed out to catch my bus. As is only natural for me I missed it by three minutes and started walking down Roosevelt carrying a giant bowl of biscuits. With my luck I wound up walking past at least 3 homeless people. I regret not giving them one but I was in a hurry and I wasn't sure if I was going to have enough. Or at least that's how I justified it in my head. I still should have given them one.

Dinner was at 4:00, so I left at 3:30 and magically even though I was walking I made it on time. Not even a minute late. I was impressed. Though my biscuits which I had purposely waited until the last minute to make so they would be warm were now quite cold, and not nearly as good. There was a total of 7 people including me there including Ann Taylor girl (her name is Britney but it's a habit) and her boyfriend. So it was clear early that the red corner was wrong. My eyes immediately started to dart around the room looking for the turkey to make sure the blue corner was wrong as well. Unfortunately it was in the crowded kitchen so it took me a few nervous moments to discover Ann Taylor Girl's boyfriend Alex carving the bird. Needless to say I was relieved but then I realized he had sharp instruments that could be used to inspire death and I remembered what my boss told me "If my girlfriend invited some strange guy she met on the bus to Thanksgiving dinner I'd be pissed. I'd probably stab the guy." I spent the rest of the premeal enjoying the room far away from the boyfriend with the knives.

Thankfully Alex, and the rest of the people there (I'd use their names but I really feel bad for the roommate and her boyfriend who's names I forgot. Maybe I do care a lot less to remember girls when there isn't a chance they are into me.) were really cool and seemed glad that I was there. We ate a lot of food, they talked a lot about people I had no idea who they were, I sat silently laughing when everyone else did and interjecting some to the conversation when it seemed to fit. Thankfully it seemed all of the guys did this.

I wound up with two delicious plates of food, and a helping of both desserts. Traditionally I keep myself as a just a pie guy for Thanksgiving. I mean you don't get pie every day. In fact I feel lucky when I get pie. Meanwhile most other desserts are available year round, for some reason I think this makes pie more valuable where the only time it's popular to have a pie is Thanksgiving, Christmas, and a couple days in the summer. Oh sure you CAN have it whenever but socially you're not going to bring a pie to say your St. Patrick's day company party. Anyway they had one pecan pie and then a rather laboriously crafted trifold. So Laboriously crafted in fact that it deserves it's own paragraph of story.

So one of the roommates, Karen, has a gluten issue. And by issue I mean she can't have any. So in her quest for the perfect gluten free stuffing recipe I guess she found a great gluten free brownie recipe for dessert since she also unfortunately can't have pie. When she made them they came out too soft and moist and fell apart on her. The frustration with the lack of perfection caused her to break down into tears while I was up getting my seconds. Everyone assured her that it would be okay and they could salvage it and it would be delicious. After about 30 minutes of calming her down and finishing eating it was decided that the brownies could be salvaged by making them into a trifold. One layer brownie, one layer whipped cream, one layer chocolate sauce and so on and so forth until it was complete. there was talk of adding more things to it but it was decided that simpler was better. Now while the whole thing didn't come together exactly as it should Karen was happy and this potential disaster was adverted and turned out really delicious.

After dinner and desert we spent plenty of time just lounging around trying to decide between playing a game or watching a movie. Movie won out simply because it involved less work. Originally they were going to watch episodes of Entourage but my immense hatred of that show and the Thanksgiving miracle I was praying for saved me from that disaster and we wound up watching The Incredibles and so many commercials for Desperaux that I thought we watched that one too. Seriously it was ridiculous. After The Incredibles there was an episode of the Office that Karen DEMANDED we watch even though it was a repeat and she was the only one interested in watching it. I know this is sacrilegious for me to say in my circle of friends but I don't watch the Office. I think I have seen 3 total episodes and quite honestly I fell asleep during the first 2 so I'm not sure they count. However this one was actually kinda funny and though I am still not a huge fan of the awkwardness of the show which near as I can tell is it's bread and butter, I did enjoy myself. Maybe it will grow on me but honestly if I'm not hooked right away I find it hard to get excited for a show.

By the time The Office was over it was getting late and everyone was going to bed. So at about 11:30 I left, and of course I missed my bus and got to walk home carrying my bowl of left over rolls and some leftovers. This time there were no homeless people for me to give my food to, but i swear I would have.

All in all what could have been a really REALLY awkward experience turned out to be a lot of fun where I made a lot of new friends. I'd like to thank Ann Taylor Girl (Face it you Brit, I know you have a name but you'll always be this to me) for making all this happen, and I'd also like to thank Alex, Karen, Vicki, Amy, and Vicki's boyfriend (I REALLY hate that you're the only one who's name I have forgotten) for being so nice and cordial to me and letting me feel comfortable when you could have excluded me and made me feel weird. You guys are the best and I hope I will be allowed to hang out with you guys again sometime soon.


Lyrics to my soul

Every so often you come across a song that touches your heart and reaches into your soul and speaks for you when you don't have the words to do it yourself. Thank you Common.

THE LIGHT by Common

Doo-doo-doo, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm..
Doo-doo-d-doo, diggy-doo

I never knew a luh, luh-luh, a love like this
Gotta be somethin for me to write this
Queen, I ain't seen you in a minute
Wrote this letter, and finally decide to send it
Signed sealed delivered for us to grow together
Love has no limit, let's spend it slow forever
I know your heart is weathered by what studs did to you
I ain't gon' assault em cause I probably did it too
Because of you, feelings I handle with care
Some niggaz recognize the light but they can't handle the glare
You know I ain't the type to walk around with matchin shirts
If relationship is effort I will match your work
I wanna be the one to make you happiest, and hurt you the most
They say the end is near, it's important that we close.... to the most, high
Regardless of what happen on him let's rely

There are times.. when you'll need someone..
I will be by your side..
There is a light, that shines,
special for you, and me..

Yo, yo, check itIt's important, we communicate
and tune the fate of this union, to the right pitch
I never call you my bitch or even my boo
There's so much in a name and so much more in you
Few understand the union of woman and man
And sex and a tingle is where they assume that it land
But that's fly by night for you and the sky I write
For in these cold Chi night's moon, you my light
If heaven had a height, you would be that tall
Ghetto to coffee shop, through you I see that all
Let's stick to understandin and we won't fall
For better or worse times, I hope to me you call
So I pray everyday more than anything
friends will stay as we begin to lay
this foundation for a family - love ain't simple
Why can't it be anything worth having you work at annually
Granted we known each other for some time
It don't take a whole day to recognize sunshine

There are times.. when you'll need someone..
I will be by your side, oh darling
There is a light, that shines,
special for you, and me..

Yeah.. yo, yo, check it
It's kinda fresh you listen to more than hip-hop
and I can catch you in the mix from beauty to thrift shop
Plus you ship hop when it's time to, thinkin you fresh
Suggestin beats I should rhyme to
At times when I'm lost I try to find you
You know to give me space when it's time to
My heart's dictionary defines you, it's love and happiness
Truthfully it's hard tryin to practice abstinence
The time we committed love it was real good
Had to be for me to arrive and it still feel good
I know the sex ain't gon' keep you, but as my equal
it's how I must treat you
As my reflection in light I'ma lead you
And whatever's right, I'ma feed you
Digga-da, digga-da, digga-da, digga-digga-da-da
Yo I tell you the rest when I see you, peace

There are times.. when you'll need someone..
I will be by your side..
There is a light, that shines,
special for you, and me..

(I'll) take my chances.. before they pass....
pass me by, oh darling..
You need to look at the other side..
You'll agree..


Does not work well under pressure

When I was a kid I would play football almost every day with my best friends Shawn and Tyler. It was great. Shawn was always the running back, Tyler since he was the only nonfat one of the three of us played Wide Receiver. That left me with the ever important role of Quarterback. Now I will be the first to admit I don't fit the traditional role of QB but I still loved to play that position. I grew up idolizing Joe Montana and Steve Young and I would often pretend I was them when we played. Anyway there is a point to this little trip down memory lane I promise. As we got older I noticed that my throws were lazy and too short when I didn't have a pass rush. And yet when I had to react quickly because of the impending blitzer (always 5 Mississippi ALWAYS) I was usually on target and the result was a completion. For some reason the pressure helped me to succeed and develop as a player.

Now fast forward to present day. Due to a recent lay off of our Assistant Manager, I am now the second in charge at my store. I owe a lot of my success and knowledge of how the store runs to Brent and without him I'm not sure of myself. I feel as if I lost my number 1 compatriot out there. And while work is rather slow I still find myself feeling vaguely lost and unsure of my decisions. Slowly I am adapting to my new role and growing into the person both Wes and Brent know I can be. Slowly I am becoming comfortable with my role and knowing what it is. Slowly I am believing I can do this and succeed.

My boss leaves for Mexico on Friday and he's gone for an entire week. That leaves me as the one in charge. The one everyone turns to when they need help. the one that makes the decisions. The one that has to make sure everything gets done. On Friday I become The Man. It's my show. I won't have the time to grow into the role. I won't have Wes in my ear telling me how good I'm doing. There will be no texts telling me how awesome my close was or how he wishes everyone would work as hard as I do. There will only be fear. There will only be stress. There will only be doubt. There will only be me.


Looking for a good scare?

Alright so in an effort to blog more I have decided to take one of my favorite subjects, movies, and apply a holiday twist to it and create a list. So here are my top 10 favorite scary movies. As far as I am concerned these movies are guaranteed to score you some quality cuddle time with pretty much any girl, which let's face it is the only real reason to watch a scary movie because it certainly isn't for the acting or the story.

#10 Jurassic Park
Alright so first things first you are absolutely LYING if you say Jurassic Park isn't scary. I know it isn't a slasher flick or a blood and guts torture porn flick that seems to crowd the movie theaters every Halloween lately but that definitely does not mean it isn't scary. All I need to say to prove my point is you take one look at the scene when Nedry dies and it's perfect arch of ealiviating all tention when he goes from a state of complete fear to letting his guard down (and the audience does as well) only to be shocked and scared when it turns out that little adorable creature he was just playing fetch with is a violent creature with a thirst for fat antagonist blood. The absolute best part of this movie though is that for the uninitiated to how scary it is you can totally pass it off as an action adventure movie and then *BAM* your date is in your lap begging for you to protect her from the scary dinosaurs.
#9 Misery
Kathy Bates is not allowed anywhere near my person EVER. it is really no surprise to anyone to say that Stephen King books make the perfect transition to the big screen and if I had to chose a personal favorite it would be Misery. The sense of helplessness that you feel for James Caan as he lays in that bed unable to call for help and at the mercy of the incredibly creepy Kathy Bates is just too much for me to handle sometimes. Throw in the sheer gruesomeness of the hobbling scene and you have yet another scarefest that doesn't require blood and gore to get it's scares in. And I for one appreciate that in a scary movie.
#8 Jaws

So every single Halloween I seem to find myself wanting to watch Jaws. I'm not entirely sure why as again while it is certainly scary it isn't your typical Halloween viewing choice. Generally it seems those are slasher flicks featuring human bad guys with knives hunting and murdering helpless humans much to the dismay of local authorities. Okay now that I wrote that I think Jaws pretty much is a slasher flick without the slasher. At my latest showing I actually had 4 people get up and leave due to the eating of a child. I would call these actions a success for any scary movie worth your time when the leaves are turnign orange.
# 7 Saw

Unlike the Saw movies that followed this one actually told a story and didn't overly force it's gore on the viewers so it is defiantely a favorite of mine. Is it gory? Yes. And while that usually is a big check in the "don't watch" collumn for me, the gore serves a purpose so i am more than willing to give this one a pass. Also the ending will absolutely blow your mind and on that alone I am saying watch this one this Halloween.

#6 Poltergeist
Another PG horror movie for me and this one I really do love. I mean not only is it scary to think about but it also serves as a warning against allowing the Television to take over your life and take care of your children for you. Maybe if Craig T. Nelson ahd been a better father the ghosts wouldn't have had the oppertunity to attack the family becuase the TV would have been off and he would have been playing with his kids. As a child raised by television I have to say that the notion of your TV coming to life and trying to destroy you is the scariest thing imaginable.

#5 The Omen
This just in: Children are scary. It's their natural state. overly stoic children are even scarier. Throw in the name Damien and I'm pretty sure you have nightmare fuel to last a lifetime. Especially if you happen to be a nanny or a maid for a family with a child named Damien.

#4 Evil Dea
Death can be funny. Death by tree rape is definately funny. Granted I am saying that as a man so maybe ladies don't find the idea of being violated by an Oak as hilarious as I do but that's okay because that means you think it's scary. Also do not get tricked, Evil Dead 2 is just the same movie with more of a budget. If you want a true sequel check out the incredibly awesome army of Darkness. Seriously if it were possible I would have Bruce Campbell's babies.

#3 Scream

So you have a scary movie with a big name actress Drew Barrymore in it. She's even on your poster so clearly anyone who has ever seen a horror movie knows she's your scream queen and she's gonna live forever. And then she gets gutted by the garage door before the openign credits. Wes Craven throws everything you know about the horror Genre in your face, explaining every twist and turn directly to you, AND HE STILL MANAGES TO SCARE YOU. Congratulations Wes, you certainly deserve every ounce of fanboy worship you recieve.

#2 Alien

So every single time I mention how much I love this movie my dad tells me the same story. When my parents were still married they went to see this movie due to my father's unantural love of all things Science Fiction. He left with bruises that perfectly matched my mom's hand on his thigh that lasted for 2 weeks. Now while it is true my mom scares pretty easily the mood and the damp dark nature of the spaceship only adds to this being the prefect scary movie. Any woman out there willing to watch this with me has my respect and will always have a date for Friday nights.

#1 The Exorcist
A few years ago they re-released the Exorcist in theaters for Halloween and I got very excited. I had never seen it before but it had so much hype behind it and so much praise everywhere I turned I had to see if it could live up to it. I went to a midnight showing all by myself. the theater was packed and everyone was ready to be scared, well except me. For some reason when something is hyped up so very much I imediately assume it's BS fanboys who have no clue what they are talking about and that it can't possibly live up to it all. I am proud to say that The Exorcist not only lived up to the hype but it exceeded it. I left the theater with chills and a distinct fear of something I don't even belive in. Success was made and a new fanboy was born. Also I got a little chuckle out of the fact that someone had vomited on the sidewalk outside the theater for some reason. This is quite possibly the only movie on this list that i would actually have to think long and hard about seeing again, not because it wasn't amazing because it was, but more because it scared me that much.

Alright so that is my list that I managed to finish 3 days late for Halloween. Now I am fully aware that all lists are subjective and you may disagree with it. That's okay. Feel free to voice your opinion in the comments. In fact please do tell me where I messed up. I want to know what you would take off the list and what you would put in it's place.