Oh my gosh she was right

So many moons ago I got into an argument with an ex of mine. She claimed I didn't talk to her. I claimed she was clearly not paying attention and had never met me because I never shut up. Clearly I was right. I mean all I ever do is talk. I talk movies, I talk sports, I talk movies. I even talk about sports. I couldn't figure out what she was talking about. Today it hit me and I am not even sure why. She didn't mean I never talked, she meant I never talk about anything important. I never talk about me. I never let her in. She was right.

It isn't just her, I do this with everyone. I doubt I have a relationship that goes beyond me listening, waiting patiently to interject a punchline. I avoid talking about me with the over use of the words fine, okay, alright. My moods and feelings often get pushed to the back burner to be ignored in favor of listening and trying too hard to be funny, to be liked. Any website that I am a member of where I am supposed to write an about me section it's filled with basic trivial things about me or snide jokes that tell absolutely zero about who I am. Well today I am going to change that. I'm just going to write about me and maybe educate you on who I am and what type of trouble you got yourself into by becoming my friend. Don't worry it will be ridiculously long winded and you will grow tired of it quickly if you haven't already. I wouldn't want to stray far from my typical writing style.

• I was born June 1st, 1980 in Walla Walla, WA
  
• I have lived in 5 towns since I was born.
• my parents divorced when I was 7.
• since then my dad has remarried.
• I am an only child, aka Mormon oddity.
• In the 2nd grade I wrote all of my spelling words backwards in order to impress a girl. When my mom came home from talking to my teacher about this my excuse was that "I forgot how to write."
• my first girlfriend was named Missy Anderson in the 1st grade. I would walk her home from school every day for a month.
• I didn't realize this made her my girlfriend until I met her kid sister in a playground many years later and she recognized me as her older sister's old boyfriend.
• I had 3 different 4th grade classes.
• My best friends growing up were Shawn Trieber and Tyler Simons.
• I was able to read at a 4th grade level by the end of the 1st grade.
• I hate reading because of that.
• When I was little I would put puzzles together from the inside out instead of the outside in. This frustrated my mother to no end.
• I own over 4,000 football cards.
• I have been arrested for shoplifting 4 separate times. Once on my birthday.
• I have very little memory of my childhood before the age of 8.
• Both of my parents have been excommunicated from the church.
• Only my mother got rebaptized though my dad made it a point to support me when I received the Melkezedek priesthood.
• I have 2 sets of scriptures, they are both 10-15 years old though you wouldn't tell it by looking at them.
• I use a baby picture as a bookmark in my scriptures because when I was younger I chewed out ones that came in them out of boredom.
• I own a Lego Yoda that took me 3 days to put together.
• Growing up I would alphabetize the video games at our local mom and pop video store just for fun, eventually the ladies that worked there would give me free rentals for all the work I did.
• My mom enrolled me in the Boys & girls club for 3 straight summers. I hated it and would skip with Shawn and spend my lunch money at the local arcade.
• The arcade was a front from drug dealers and we innocently just played video games all day oblivious to what was happening around us.
• I could eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day of my life and be happy.
• I love to cook but I hate to cook for just myself so I rarely do.
• I have always had more friends that were younger than me than my own age or older.
  
• When it comes to sports I am very superstitious. I once watched an entire half of a 49ers playoff game from the bathroom because the 49ers didn't start scoring until I went to the bathroom.
• Speaking of the bathroom, when I was younger I would never pee in the toilet, but rather other odd places.
• Some of the more interesting places I have peed: out my second floor window. My upstairs sink and the central heating vent in my room when I was 6.
• I once split open a kids head by dropping a cinder block on him when I was 6.
• I am amazing at eavesdropping.
• I have eaten a 12 egg omelet in one sitting.
• I have only kissed 3 girls.
• I only remember 1 of their names.
• The one I remember isn't my first kiss but rather my last.
• I pretend I don't like hugs because it gets me more hugs.
• I regret my Myspace blog.
• I regret not breaking my no seconds dates rule sooner.
• I have awkward and weird conversations with people late at night.
• Because of that I think I shouldn't be allowed to talk to people beyond midnight.
• I took swimming lessons until I was 11.
• I never made it past the guppy level.
• Guppies for the uninformed are the 2nd level of swimming lessons and roughly ages 5-6.
• I still don't swim very well.
• I have one tattoo that I received while drunk from my stoner friend who was also drunk at the time.
• His tattoo gun was a motorized Bic pen filled with tattoo ink.
• The only reason I haven't gotten it removed is to remind me that stupid things happen when you drink and/or get high.
• I crave attention more than I crave food.
• I make friends very easily.
• It's keeping them I suck at.
• I will argue with you for no reason whatsoever. It's fun for me.
• I realize it is usually only fun for me and I don't care.
• It's especially fun when I argue for something I don't even believe.
• I once spent an entire hour arguing that the earth was shaped like a hockey puck.
• I was in drama club for 2 years in high school and appeared in 5 performances.
• I love making racially awkward comments while in the company of people who don't know me.
• I lactate butter.
• I owned a New Kids On the Block doll when I was a kid.
• I also had their comic book and all of their albums.
• I would have willingly shared a bed with Michael Jackson simply because of Thriller.
• My first R rated movie that I saw was Commando. My dad took me to see it.
• I didn't live on my own until I was 24.
• I never felt stronger spiritually than I did in the Pasco 7th Branch.
• tried out for the highs school football team 3 separate years.
• I quit 2 days in every year because it was too hard.
• I was a member of 3 separate graduating classes, '98, '99, and 2000.
• I don't think I would be a member of the church if it wasn't for that 6th year of high school and Liz Allen.
• I can't sleep unless there is some noise.
• I wish I had been the one to have MS and not my mom.
• I don't regret not serving a mission because I realize now how important those 2 years after high school were for my mom.
• One of my most prized possessions is a bank in the shape of a monkey carved out of a coconut.
• I often forget that it's important to feel.
• I love rap music, but as I have grown up I have become picky about who I listen to.
• I am the very definition of a curmudgeon.
• I am an emotional sponge. If you are happy I am happy, if you are sad I am sad.
• I am horrible on the phone and would much rather just text you about anything.
• I send and receive about6,000 texts a month.
• I once stayed up late at night throwing ninja stars at the walls and ceiling of my friend's room. His mom was so mad she kicked me out of the house and wouldn't even let me come over to help repair the damages.
• I used to think my dad was a ninja.
• Turns out he was just a nerd with a fascination with the martial arts and their weapons.
• I spent a large portion of my childhood in therapy.
• None of it helped as much as having a blog.
• When I am scared I make horrible jokes to hide my pain.
• I meant horrible in them being inappropriate or mean, not bad or not funny.
• In fact I think that is when I am funniest.
• I am a professional wrestling fan.
• I am such a pro wrestling fan that I have been to at least a dozen live shows including Wrestlemania.
• Yes I know it's not real, guess what? I don't care.
• Despite all of the horrible things to happen to me in my life I would not change any of them.
• I love my job and I can't see me working anywhere else.
• I know more about you than you probably realize.
• I will not apologize for being a democrat just as I don't expect you to apologize for being a republican.
• That being said I also never, ever EVER want to talk politics with any of you. I really don't care all that much.
• I am not afraid to quote blogs I read and claim their thoughts as my own if I agree with them.
• I make horrible first impressions, but if you look past them I make amazing 3rd and 4th impressions.
• I own over $100 in hair product.
• I rarely use any of it.
• it bothers me when people I know see me in ugly clothes that don't fit right.
• I always have to stop and look at myself in a mirror when I see one.
• I own over 50 different ties.
• I have over 9,800 twitter updates.
• I am actually proud of that.
• I constantly afraid I won't have the approval and love of my family.
• I found my mom laying in a pool of her own vomit in the 4th grade and dialed 9-1-1.
• I was actually calm and at ease with them and they were able to save her.
• I still wish I had done more.
• I don't think I would be as funny as I am if it wasn't for my father.
• I have had complete conversations consisting of only George Carlin quotes and laughter.
• When I started going to RHS I spent lunch waiting outside my math class waiting for lunch to be over for 2 months before I had any friends.
• I secretly hated all the friends I had that year and yet I tried ridiculously hard to fit in with them.
• How I made friends in High School: One night I stayed up really late and got the idea to tape a piece of paper to my chest and see how many people would stop and read it.
• The paper said "Yes, my good luck paper is working, beautiful women are staring at me."
• people laughed, and as a result I did the same thing every day for 3 months with different sayings from George Carlin's book "Brain Droppings" on them.
• I told people they were my own so they would like me.
• I'm convinced most of them just felt sorry for me.
• I know all of the words to most Outkast songs and will sing along with them as soon as I hear them regardless of who is around.
• I contend the funniest word in the English language is "Monkey".
• I once laughed for 3 hours straight because of the name Tutankhamen.
• No I wasn't high.
  
• I still don't know why I thought that was funny.
• I did stand up comedy for the seminary talent show the year I graduated.
• I had my seminary teacher read my jokes to okay them for a church audience.
  
• Surprisingly he approve of them.
• Later on he told me he didn't think they were funny on paper and he was worried I was going to look stupid. But he really enjoyed them when I actually performed my routine.
• They were all jokes I stole from lesser known comedians I love.
• My cousin still talks about that night with great pride.
• he was convinced I was going to say something crass and inappropriate.
  
• I still perform these jokes when there is a talent show.
• I have 3 different families that I belong to.
• My favorite celebrities to meet are comedians, they have always been so kind and gracious and humble about who they are.
• I wish I gave more money to the homeless men and women I see at night.
• I have broken 3 sofas and a table because of my weight.
• just the thought of that makes me want to live on a diet of laxatives and diet pills.
• If a DVD comes in an awkwardly shaped box, I WILL BUY IT.
• Over 1/3rd of my movies are movies I have never seen before.
• I have abandonment issues because of my relationship with my father.
• I have a fear of intimacy because of my father.
• I love my father and I still want to be just like him when I become a parent.
• That last one scares me.
• I buy expensive things in order to get people to like me.
• I love the Town House Flipside Cracker, and it makes me cry when my grocery store doesn't carry them.
• If you think Dane Cook is funny we are not friends.
• I never buy more than a day's worth of groceries at the store.
• I hate processed foods and I will try to use fresh produce as often as possible.
• I judge people by their movie collections.
  
• I own a copy of Blankman.
• I am intimidated by the people in Gospel principles class because they are more scripturally astute compared to me.
• My testimony is the greatest gift I have ever received.
• I am selfish though and I hate sharing it with others for fear it isn't strong enough.
• I cried at my mother's baptism when my Cousin Rob sang I Am a Child of God by himself because I was too self righteous to sing with him.
• I hate that song because of that day and how I acted.
• I have no idea how to end this.
  

I swear I didn't write this

but I certainly do this most of the time -

I'm not sure why I am such a horrible person but I most definitely think that I am. Not horrible enough that people should worry for my sanity, or anything like that. I just feel that as they say your thoughts dictate our actions, and inside my head I am a horrible, horrible person. I see people's flaws and I ridicule them for things they can't control. The first thing I do when I meet someone, the very first thing, is I find something about them that I am better than them at just to boost my own personal self worth. If there is nothing I make something up. Quite simply inside my head I am a horrible, horrible person.

Now outside my mind is a totally different story. On the outside I am kind, considerate, thoughtful, honest to a fault, creative, funny, caring, and many other great things. Outside my head I am a good person. Sure I have moments when I let the inside come out and hang out with the outside but for the most part they are night and day.

So my question to you is which one is the real me? I know which one I think it is (the one who is good, with a tinge of horrible jerk, the one that will think horrible things about you but try to look past them and still care enough about you to help you when you need it. That would be me, to me.), but I want to hear what you think.

Attention All readers, This just in:

I'm fat.

Now I will allow you all to regain your composure for a moment to grasp what I am saying. I get that I have more than just a few extra pounds on my already large frame. I get that I eat more than most, though interestingly enough most of that has more to do with my desire to not eat breakfast or dinner and instead just snack through the day and have one large meal in the middle as opposed to it having to do with me being fat. However over the last 2 days I have have conveniently enough two separate instances of people thinking I am not aware of my condition, or at least being giant asshats about it.

So yesterday my mom was in town for a doctor's appointment to meet with a surgeon to talk about gastric bypass surgery. See being fat is kinda genetic, though her size isn't really helped by her being almost completely wheelchair bound thanks to the MS she has had since I was 3. Because I am a good son I tagged along for moral support and to get myself as informed as I possibly could be about her potential surgery. Now I'm not going to get into the specifics of her condition or her surgery partially because this isn't a blog about her, and partially because it isn't my place to talk about her business. However I will say that I am very proud of her for taking the necessary steps she needs to loose some of the excess weight that is making her life so difficult right now and to try whatever she can actually do to remedy her obesity. I may not think surgery is the answer for her in her physical state but I will support her in trying to make her life easier. Sitting in on these meetings has also managed to influence me to not let myself get to the point where surgery is the only possible recourse to my own weight issues. I am still young and I can still do something about it. I have been walking about 1 mile and a half 5 times a week for almost a year, and recently I have been monitoring my caloric intake and limiting myself in my what I eat. I honestly have never felt as healthy and strong as I do right now. I no longer look at myself in the mirror and see someone ugly and repulsive. I see someone who is trying, and someone who is an amazing human being with room to improve.

And that is why I found what happened in that doctor's office so disheartening.

Now my mom is wheelchair bound so she already had a seat in the small office. I am always a big fan of sitting on the doctor's beds and playing with all the instruments so naturally with the bed available I sat on the bed and eventually after realizing this appointment was going to take a while I laid down. After the resident comes in and interviews my mom in comes the actual surgeon, and I am met with this comment "Oh hey you look like a patient!" with a chuckle and a laugh. This is a surgeon that only does Gastric Bypass surgery. His only patients are ridiculously overweight people. Now I know what he meant was that because of where I was located and the fact that I was laying on the bed I looked like a regular doctor's patient. HOWEVER to my ears all I heard was "Holy crap why am I not cutting open your belly and taking out 3/4ths of your stomach tubby?", it was dehumanizing and I was not pleased with this man that I was trusting my mother's life with. Thankfully he recommended my mother do the Lapband surgery instead of the gastric bypass because she can't really exercise and it would be pretty much useless for her, which means this jerkoff will not be performing her surgery. Let's hope the next doctor she meets with has a little bit better bedside manners.

Now today I returned back to work and after a few hours at work it became time for me to eat my lunch. Now in a mall there really isn't many options when it comes to healthy food to eat so i settled for the place I decided was the healthiest options in the mall, and quite frankly one of my favorites Rice and Roll a sushi place right across the corridor from my store. I get my usual bento box and half Kanimi roll and things are going pretty well. The people that work there are always so great to me. In fact there was a time when I became a regular there and they knew exactly what I was going to order and they started it before I even paid for it.

Today however was a different story.

The young guy behind the counter takes my order and then hands things off to the little Asian lady to make my sushi. I grab my utensils (I still don't know how to use chopsticks properly) and wait patiently for my food, when the kindly little Asian lady makes small talk with me. "You too big. You eat too much food." What? Was this really happening? Certainly they wouldn't insult a regular customer would they? these are all thoughts I had while she was making hand gestures just to make sure I knew she was calling me a lardass. "you shouldn't come here. You should save your money and not eat." Sure to her face I just laughed and pretended not to be hurt by her comments, but on the inside I was holding back from reaching over the counter and slapping her in the face. I would even use my giant mantits just to make her aware that I knew that I had them.

Never have I ever experienced so much dehumanizing behavior in a 24 hour span. Not even in middle school and rest assured I was fat then too. And yet I pressed on. I still walked home today and sure I was pissed and frustrated at the blatantly horrible behavior by this one little woman (am am giving the doctor a pass because clearly it was a misunderstanding on my part) I decided that once I write this blog and once I complain to her manager I'm not going to let it bother me and I am going to move on. I know I'm working on my problem and I know I am getting better. That is what is important, not what a few shortsighted individuals say or think about me as a person. There is no point in letting their comments get to me because they just don't know any better.

It's time I become the bigger man while trying to become a smaller man.

25 (actually 10 but I say a lot) random things about me

So i did this on my facebook a couple months ago but since then I have been tagged at least 3 times by other people so I thought I would take another stab and see just how interesting I can pretend my life is and see if I can come up with 25 NEW things you may not have known about me. I'm not gonna lie, these things are probably lame but it was fun to come up with. Also since I ramble so much there is no way I am going to get 25 of these things without boring you to death.

1. I hate the way I sound when I sing and yet there isn't a Sunday where I don't get invited to choir or told how wonderful my voice is. I am convinced all these people are tone deaf or just being nice. I mean I can't read music. I don't know my part. I just try to sing how I think it should sound. I have tried the choir thing (yes cute girls were involved they are my kryptonite) but I grew easily frustrated and spent the entire time wishing I sounded like the other guys in the group or at the very least understood and knew what I was doing which leads to me quitting the choir in an embarrassed mess.

2. I'm convinced my roommates hate me. Not necessarily a full blown I wish he was dead hate but more the block from my mind and pretend they don't exist in hopes that they go away kind of hate. Now this might be an issue to most people I can understand the situation enough to know that really it's okay. Our house has an interesting dynamic in that there is very little communication between roommates. For the most part I think I can actually manage to go 3 days without seeing a single roommate without much effort. And due to that it is very easy to assume I'm at work since I practically live there and my room isn't really around anyone else's it's easy to forget me when they are going to church or FHE or a party. Still it kinda sucks to be forgot.

3. I miss having a best friend. Now this is not a knock on Dean, she's still my best friend and I would do anything for her just as I know she would for me. No what I mean is I miss having that friend I can call at any moment and say "let's go do something." and then instead of being met with a cadre of excuses all you get back is "okay". I love my grown up best friend, she's amazing and I wouldn't change a single thing about her. What I miss is that childhood best friend. I don't have any brothers or sisters but I imagine it like that. You go everywhere together and everyone is surprised when they see you separated. I want what Sarah and Charity have. I may give them a hard time about it but it's mostly out of jealousy.

4. There are at least four girls that I can name off the top of my head that I would ask to marry me in a heartbeat if I thought there was even the slightest chance they would say yes. I don't have a girlfriend, as should be painfully obvious by the amount of movies I have the time to watch, but I do have a lot of very close female friends. I don't know how, or why they choose to be my friend but honestly they are so very amazing that I wouldn't have it any other way. That doesn't mean I wouldn't date them tomorrow if they asked, but rather that I want them to be the happiest they can possibly be and I know that isn't me, well not me beyond being their friend and watching out for them to make sure they find someone just as awesome as I am. I wouldn't want them to settle for anything but the best... well second best since clearly I'm too good for them ;).

5. the greatest compliment anyone could ever give me is that they think I'm funny. It's not that I don't love hearing about my hair, or my huge heart, or that they are impressed with my copious amounts of pointless movie knowledge but I find more joy in making people laugh than anything else. You can fake a smile, you can fake interest in whatever someone is talking about (I do both on a daily basis) but there is no faking a good hearty laugh. When you try to fake it everyone can tell it wasn't honest. Sure I try really hard to get that laugh but that's only because it means so much to me. Your approval and your love is really only valid to me through laughter because as I said it's the only thing that I can trust.

6. I kinda wish I was gay. No not because girls aren't into me (they are, just not the ones I am into) and not for the fashion sense (I have plenty of that thank you very much) but for the sense of community. As a white heterosexual male I have no NAACP, I have no LGBT support group. The best I have is the Klan and while I hate people, I don't hate loosely, but rather specifically. I hate the man on the bus who refuses to understand headphones not everyone who doesn't wear Chucks or some other group of people (see how I avoided race there? I'm a smart one.) Let's face it, what it boils down to is I'm lazy and I don't want to have to find friends with common interests, I just want to be born into it, if for no other reason than that means they can't kick me out.

7. I focus on the absurd to avoid the personal. Now what that means is if I keep my relationships superficial there is no chance of you getting to know the real me and being scared away or me getting too close. This is why I tease you. This is why we aren't close. There are very few people out there who know me. Who know the real me. And even with those few I still have secrets I haven't told you. My parents divorced when I was 7 and shortly there after my best friend/father was out of my life (I would like to point out that he was not a deadbeat dad, the child support was paid right up until I graduated high school and he loved me very much). I know it's cliche to blame things on divorce, and I know a lot of this isn't the divorce perhaps my stint in foster homes in the 4th grade had something to do with it or something else entirely, but the fact is I went from a very vocal and friendly kid (I once went door to door for 3 blocks asking parents if they had kids I could play with without my parents permission) to someone who let's people come to him. Now I'm still vocal but I don't actively search for friends, I just let them happen.

8. I have a new batch of guy friends every year. Here's a timeline for you of my close friends since I was 24. First there was Brice and then he got married, then Zach. Zach then went on a mission and Jared became my buddy. Then I moved to Seattle and Sean was my closest friend. After Sean spent his summer with his family it became Kurt and Mark's turn as my close friends. Now while I am close to Kurt and Mark still I have been spending more and more free time with Jon and some people in a different ward closer to my age. I can't really explain it but i have noticed the trend.

9. Conversely any female friends I have I stay pretty close with. My friend Kim from the Tri-Cities became really close over the 6 months before I moved to Seattle. She even helped me pack. I still send her texts and messages on facebook when I think about her just to see how she is doing. Mallory is another close friend that logic would dictate that her getting married and moving on with her life would prevent me from staying in contact with her but nope I still talk to her and check in on her baby belly. That's two examples though I am sure I could name a hundred more. I guess this is one reason why Number six up there will never happen huh?

10. (this one is going to be the last one, you're welcome) I wish I was more cultured. I'm doing small things to work on this goal, I'm reading more. I'm going to concerts, I'm catching more live entertainment as opposed to movies, I don't eat processed foods. I try to experience new and interesting meals when I do eat out or when I cook at home. For so long I have lived a sheltered existence of my own doing and now I think it's time for me to live. What that means I am not entirely sure, but it's going to be fun to find out.

My Christmas Wishlist

I want...

a new phone.
books, lots and lots of books.
movies, lots and lots of movies.
cookware.
HAIR CARE & GROOMING PRODUCTS
toys to play with.
my computer to have sound again.
a new iPod that can actually hold all of my music on it.
to see my mom.
for my friends to know that I love them.
to know that my friends love me.
to make everyone smile a genuine smile.
to not have to be the man in charge.
to have the respect of the man in charge.
a kiss that means something.
to hear him say "I'm sorry".
to have an understanding of money and not run out.
to lose more weight.
to not get frustrated as easily.
to understand I am not the only one trying as hard as I can.
to help Mark find something else to say besides "that's what she said".
to cook for other people more.
to watch every movie I own that I haven't seen before.
to not be so judgmental of others and the trials they are going through.
to get more friends from Seattle to follow me on Twitter.
to remember what it was like to be a child.
to stay that way.
to be loved.

Does not work well under pressure

When I was a kid I would play football almost every day with my best friends Shawn and Tyler. It was great. Shawn was always the running back, Tyler since he was the only nonfat one of the three of us played Wide Receiver. That left me with the ever important role of Quarterback. Now I will be the first to admit I don't fit the traditional role of QB but I still loved to play that position. I grew up idolizing Joe Montana and Steve Young and I would often pretend I was them when we played. Anyway there is a point to this little trip down memory lane I promise. As we got older I noticed that my throws were lazy and too short when I didn't have a pass rush. And yet when I had to react quickly because of the impending blitzer (always 5 Mississippi ALWAYS) I was usually on target and the result was a completion. For some reason the pressure helped me to succeed and develop as a player.

Now fast forward to present day. Due to a recent lay off of our Assistant Manager, I am now the second in charge at my store. I owe a lot of my success and knowledge of how the store runs to Brent and without him I'm not sure of myself. I feel as if I lost my number 1 compatriot out there. And while work is rather slow I still find myself feeling vaguely lost and unsure of my decisions. Slowly I am adapting to my new role and growing into the person both Wes and Brent know I can be. Slowly I am becoming comfortable with my role and knowing what it is. Slowly I am believing I can do this and succeed.

My boss leaves for Mexico on Friday and he's gone for an entire week. That leaves me as the one in charge. The one everyone turns to when they need help. the one that makes the decisions. The one that has to make sure everything gets done. On Friday I become The Man. It's my show. I won't have the time to grow into the role. I won't have Wes in my ear telling me how good I'm doing. There will be no texts telling me how awesome my close was or how he wishes everyone would work as hard as I do. There will only be fear. There will only be stress. There will only be doubt. There will only be me.

8 Is A Magic Number

8 Things I am Passionate About:
1. Sports
2. Music
3. Movies
4. My Family
5. My Friends
6. Seeing others happy
7. Making people laugh
8. trying to find that perfect outfit for every occasion

8 Words or Phrases I Say Often:
1. Bellevue Square mariner Team Store this is Allen how may I help you?
2. You bet.
3. Really? REALLY?
4. That's what she said (thanks Mark.)
5. She's cute.
6. No we don't sell any Seahawks stuff.
7. I'm updating my Twitter.
8. No really she's cute.

8 Things I want to do before I Die:
1. Get married
2. Be happy
3. Figure everything out
4. Tie my tie right the first time
5. Lose myself in myself
6. Finally make sense of why I do the things I do.
7. Make you smile just by walking into a room.
8. Stop saying stupid overly romanticized things like "I want to make you smile just by walking into a room."

8 Things I Have Learned From my Past:
1. If a girl will talk to me and feign interest in me, she clearly wants me.
2. Sometimes, you don't have to be funny.
3. I have a grumpy face, and I share it with people A LOT.
4. Hugs aren't bad.
5. There is more to life than cheering for your favorite sports team.
6. Always keep some sunshine on your face.
7. Richard Pryor was a genius.
8. I am an idiot for thinking #1.

8 Places I Would Love to Go or See:
1. My grandparents on Christmas day
2. 1986
3. The arms of someone who loves me.
4. Safeco Field
5. Candlestick Park
6. My happy place
7. the temple
8. My childhood home

8 Things I Currently Need or Want:
1. My friends to be happy
2. Acceptance
3. Change
4. Growth
5. Control
6. Happiness
7. Strength
8. Attention