11.02.2008

Looking for a good scare?

Alright so in an effort to blog more I have decided to take one of my favorite subjects, movies, and apply a holiday twist to it and create a list. So here are my top 10 favorite scary movies. As far as I am concerned these movies are guaranteed to score you some quality cuddle time with pretty much any girl, which let's face it is the only real reason to watch a scary movie because it certainly isn't for the acting or the story.

#10 Jurassic Park
Alright so first things first you are absolutely LYING if you say Jurassic Park isn't scary. I know it isn't a slasher flick or a blood and guts torture porn flick that seems to crowd the movie theaters every Halloween lately but that definitely does not mean it isn't scary. All I need to say to prove my point is you take one look at the scene when Nedry dies and it's perfect arch of ealiviating all tention when he goes from a state of complete fear to letting his guard down (and the audience does as well) only to be shocked and scared when it turns out that little adorable creature he was just playing fetch with is a violent creature with a thirst for fat antagonist blood. The absolute best part of this movie though is that for the uninitiated to how scary it is you can totally pass it off as an action adventure movie and then *BAM* your date is in your lap begging for you to protect her from the scary dinosaurs.
#9 Misery
Kathy Bates is not allowed anywhere near my person EVER. it is really no surprise to anyone to say that Stephen King books make the perfect transition to the big screen and if I had to chose a personal favorite it would be Misery. The sense of helplessness that you feel for James Caan as he lays in that bed unable to call for help and at the mercy of the incredibly creepy Kathy Bates is just too much for me to handle sometimes. Throw in the sheer gruesomeness of the hobbling scene and you have yet another scarefest that doesn't require blood and gore to get it's scares in. And I for one appreciate that in a scary movie.
#8 Jaws

So every single Halloween I seem to find myself wanting to watch Jaws. I'm not entirely sure why as again while it is certainly scary it isn't your typical Halloween viewing choice. Generally it seems those are slasher flicks featuring human bad guys with knives hunting and murdering helpless humans much to the dismay of local authorities. Okay now that I wrote that I think Jaws pretty much is a slasher flick without the slasher. At my latest showing I actually had 4 people get up and leave due to the eating of a child. I would call these actions a success for any scary movie worth your time when the leaves are turnign orange.
# 7 Saw

Unlike the Saw movies that followed this one actually told a story and didn't overly force it's gore on the viewers so it is defiantely a favorite of mine. Is it gory? Yes. And while that usually is a big check in the "don't watch" collumn for me, the gore serves a purpose so i am more than willing to give this one a pass. Also the ending will absolutely blow your mind and on that alone I am saying watch this one this Halloween.



#6 Poltergeist
Another PG horror movie for me and this one I really do love. I mean not only is it scary to think about but it also serves as a warning against allowing the Television to take over your life and take care of your children for you. Maybe if Craig T. Nelson ahd been a better father the ghosts wouldn't have had the oppertunity to attack the family becuase the TV would have been off and he would have been playing with his kids. As a child raised by television I have to say that the notion of your TV coming to life and trying to destroy you is the scariest thing imaginable.

#5 The Omen
This just in: Children are scary. It's their natural state. overly stoic children are even scarier. Throw in the name Damien and I'm pretty sure you have nightmare fuel to last a lifetime. Especially if you happen to be a nanny or a maid for a family with a child named Damien.




#4 Evil Dea
d
Death can be funny. Death by tree rape is definately funny. Granted I am saying that as a man so maybe ladies don't find the idea of being violated by an Oak as hilarious as I do but that's okay because that means you think it's scary. Also do not get tricked, Evil Dead 2 is just the same movie with more of a budget. If you want a true sequel check out the incredibly awesome army of Darkness. Seriously if it were possible I would have Bruce Campbell's babies.


#3 Scream

So you have a scary movie with a big name actress Drew Barrymore in it. She's even on your poster so clearly anyone who has ever seen a horror movie knows she's your scream queen and she's gonna live forever. And then she gets gutted by the garage door before the openign credits. Wes Craven throws everything you know about the horror Genre in your face, explaining every twist and turn directly to you, AND HE STILL MANAGES TO SCARE YOU. Congratulations Wes, you certainly deserve every ounce of fanboy worship you recieve.

#2 Alien

So every single time I mention how much I love this movie my dad tells me the same story. When my parents were still married they went to see this movie due to my father's unantural love of all things Science Fiction. He left with bruises that perfectly matched my mom's hand on his thigh that lasted for 2 weeks. Now while it is true my mom scares pretty easily the mood and the damp dark nature of the spaceship only adds to this being the prefect scary movie. Any woman out there willing to watch this with me has my respect and will always have a date for Friday nights.

#1 The Exorcist
A few years ago they re-released the Exorcist in theaters for Halloween and I got very excited. I had never seen it before but it had so much hype behind it and so much praise everywhere I turned I had to see if it could live up to it. I went to a midnight showing all by myself. the theater was packed and everyone was ready to be scared, well except me. For some reason when something is hyped up so very much I imediately assume it's BS fanboys who have no clue what they are talking about and that it can't possibly live up to it all. I am proud to say that The Exorcist not only lived up to the hype but it exceeded it. I left the theater with chills and a distinct fear of something I don't even belive in. Success was made and a new fanboy was born. Also I got a little chuckle out of the fact that someone had vomited on the sidewalk outside the theater for some reason. This is quite possibly the only movie on this list that i would actually have to think long and hard about seeing again, not because it wasn't amazing because it was, but more because it scared me that much.

Alright so that is my list that I managed to finish 3 days late for Halloween. Now I am fully aware that all lists are subjective and you may disagree with it. That's okay. Feel free to voice your opinion in the comments. In fact please do tell me where I messed up. I want to know what you would take off the list and what you would put in it's place.

6 comments:

Aimee said...

Wow you put a lot of time and thought into this post.

Allen said...

Thanks, I've always thought that any writing worth reading should be well thought out and delivered effectively. That's part of the reason I don't blog that often, I never have anything to say.

Aimee said...

You never have anything to say? AHA HA HA HA HA HAAAA. HA. Ha. *wipes tears* Ha. Oh boy. Phew.

Allen said...

I meant anything of merit to say that I think people might want to read. Nobody actually listens to my random mumblings or cynicism.

Pacific Northwest Lundell's said...

Allen I didnt know you had a blog! woot!

Wren/Karen said...

You forgot the scariest movie ever: The Watcher in the Woods.