Gay is the new straight

This should surprise no one when I say this -

I am straight.

Okay apparently that statement does surprise a few people. In the past I have been outed as gay by at least 3 people. Well one of them outed me, two of them asked my friends if I was gay.

I don't mind being called gay, in fact I almost consider it a compliment. Many of the best people in my life are gay. they motivate me to be a better person and inspire me in ways I honestly don't believe a straight friend could. While constantly belittling me they often find time to remind me of just how much hope they have in me as a person and what they think I am capable of. Kurt, Mark, and Austin thank you.

I know we joke about it all the time but I honestly do get a lot of the tips and ideas on how I should dress, and what styles I should be looking at from Kurt specifically. Sure I could match colors just fine before I met him but since I have actually been able to pull off coordinating outfits and stop constantly wearing Mariners gear. I will not hesitate to say I flat out steal Kurt's trends and fashion and claim it as my own. Yes I am aware that makes them not "cool" anymore but the joy is this - none of my straight friends realize this and I still get compliments every time I kill one of Kurt's fashion statements.

Case in point - Kurt doesn't go to church regularly (honestly I can't blame him one bit) but when he does he will dress in church clothes and on his feet are a pair of black Converse sneakers. he has been doing this pretty much the entire time I have known him. Shoot it's the name of one of his many blogs. I envied him for this and thought I could never pull it off. Then one day I decided I wanted to try it. I wore my suit and a pair of black chucks. I'd say at least 7 people commented on it in a positive manner. Kurt not so much. I could sense his disdain for me with every compliment because no one ever said anything to him about it. Well Kurt I'm telling you now, I wouldn't have even thought to wear them if you didn't look so good in them. It's your fault for inspiring me.

Anyway I have steered away from the point I intended to make with this blog so let's get back on subject. On the 18th of this month I experienced a first for me. I had a gay date. Oh sure I have had awkwardly gay movie watching experiences, but never a full fledged date. Kurt was my victim this time around and as with most dates I have he didn't seem at all interested in me sexually so thank you Kurt for not taking me out of my element by being into me. We wound up getting some dinner and watching a stand up show by Doug Benson. Doug was really funny, as were Peter Greyy and Graham Elwood. I had a great time with Kurt, in fact as much as it sounds weird to say, our date was one of the best ones I have been on in awhile. And while neither of us are interested in each other in a way to make anything happen (what with me liking girls and Kurt liking attractive boys) it did teach me something about what I want in a significant other.

I want someone who gets me. I want someone who I have no problem sitting in complete silence with. I want someone who will laugh at my jokes, and say their own. I want someone who appreciates the lesser things in life like ridiculously high comics. I want someone I can be myself around without fear of judgement. I want someone who, despite that last thing, still inspires me to be a better person, not for them but for myself.

So thank you Kurt, for helping me find who I want. And for not being it.

ignore the two people in the middle, SOMEONE still hasn't uploaded the pictures from our date so this is the best I had.


colin said...

hahaha, allen you crack me up. i hope it was intentional

Dericho said...

I was wearing Converse to church before you were! And I had Mia's blessing to do so.

Wren/Karen said...

I could never ignore the people in the middle. Come on!! Who could ignore Aims?!

Kurt said...

Well I feel special. I will post those picture soon.

Kaylene said...

How come you only named me, Austin and Kurt.... Don't you think Derek is going to feel left out?

Kaylene said...

just a note: mark posted that last comment from my computer.

Austin said...

"ignore the two people in the middle"???
wtf! lol
I loved this post a lot! you are awesome Allen.
You are one of the best fag hags I have!

amera hearts said...

it seems like it's been a while since you last posted :(