I was robbed!

Okay maybe I wasn't robbed but I do feel let down a bit.

This last weekend was a multi-stake talent show with performers from all 3 of the University wards and also some from Halls Lake. Part of me really likes talent shows because it's cheap entertainment and you get to see everyone go out and make a fool of themselves. The other part of me hates talent shows because the only people who actually participate in them are musicians. There are no poets, there are no chefs. There are just musician after musician after musician. Typically it is a guitar too, though you will see pianists and singers as well. I loved discussing this with my friend Jon in the weeks prior to the event if for no reason other than it led to this comment "I've thought about that, and I agree. That's why I'm playing my sax." I didn't have the heart to tell him that is also just another musical act.

I don't play an instrument though, and despite what a lot of people think I can not sing. My best talent is my ability to make people laugh. Many, many moons ago when I graduated from Seminary instead of having a graduate dinner we had a talent show. You weren't required to participate but as a senior and as someone who wanted to make Mormon friends since I was just coming back to the church I decided I was going to do stand up comedy for the talent show. I worked so hard on my act, far harder than any school work I did that entire year. I wrote it out on note cards and everything. When I got my act cleared by my seminary teacher he was nervous for me because he didn't think what he had read was funny and he didn't want me to make a fool of myself.

Thankfully my routine worked better on stage than it did on paper. I killed it. I don't think I could have been happier with the results if I tried. Well that is until last night.

I decided to resurrect the old act to break from the monotony of it all and to do something different. I had performed the act a couple times in between then and now and each time it had done very well, and my stage presence had grown. This was going to be a perfect performance. And i figured I was lucky and the fact that I was doing something fun and different people would notice and maybe I would win something.

And then I saw that I was going first.

First is horrible for something like this, and I will explain why. 1. The crowd is cold, and they have no idea what to expect. 2. This is a Mormon event so 45% of the audience is going to be coming late and won't see me perform. Those are missed votes. 3. I can not express this enough: NO ONE REMEMBERS THE OPENING ACTS. No one. Ever.

Needless to say I was pissed. Last minute I tried to come up with several things I could do to make myself stand out. I got myself entrance music (yes this entrance music) I tried to work in something about the strange thing that actually opened the show that the committee members put together, and then at the end of my bit I plugged voting and shilled like you wouldn't believe for people to vote for me during the intermission.

My actual set was flawless. every joke worked, everyone laughed. I even added a new joke that I had never performed. I probably should have moved some of the jokes around so I could end on a big laugh but I honestly can't think of anything I could have done to make it better.

And then everyone else went and I was forgotten.

In the end my friend Jon won, Bridgette and Sarah did an amazing job and came in second. I will not fault these acts as they were amazing and deserved everything that they received and then some. My fault is with the 3rd place winner.

They went last, and took up what seemed like forever. They did essentially 3 songs including a HORRIBLE rendition of Eruption. Their opening song was so horrible and lacked any level of stage presence. The closing song they did was pretty good I will give them that, but at the same time it also consisted of mostly 14-16 year olds aka people who shouldn't have been in the contest to begin with. But of course they went last and because their act was so long they were freshest in people's mind come voting time. It was just ridiculous how bad they actually were.

I wound up tying for 4th, which if you look at it in the right sense means I did well and I should be proud of my accomplishments. I am proud, I love that I was able to get up there and make people laugh. I am glad they appreciated my act, and I hope to get to do it again some day. I still wish I hadn't gone first, but there is nothing really one can do about that. I did my best, which is all I could hope for.

Well and that Kurt and his friends had at least stuck around for intermission and voted for me. Jerks cost me my win ;)