I have finally found the love of my life

And wouldn't you know it I found her in a grocery store.


I was doing some late night shopping as I am prone to doing since the store is so close to my house. I was dressed like a slob which again I am very prone to doing when it's late and I'm shopping. I didn't even do my hair, and if any of you know me I never leave the house without doing my hair. I figured I just needed to run in and grab some things then head home and eat. And then I turned down the snack isle and I saw HER. She was a red head, which is my kryptonite. She was also short but I was able to look past that because the majesty of her beauty was something I had never beheld before, and doubt I would ever see again. She seemed like a little mixed ethnicity beauty though I couldn't put my finger on which ones. It didn't matter though I had no words for her as for once I couldn't talk.Sheepishly I walked past her wishing I had the courage to speak.

As it is with any grocery store romance her visage haunted me every isle I went. Ice Cream, she was there. Bakery, she was there. She even followed me to the cleaning isle. As i wandered over to the check out lane I realized in all the admiration of this beauty I forgot to pick up something in the snack isle that was imperative to the rest of my evening of watching movies. I headed back to the snack isle and once again she was there, just as radiant as before. It was fate. I had to talk to her. Mustering up all courage I could I walked up to her and said the only thing I could muster - "I want to take you home".

And she let me. After a quick journey through the checkout stand we ran across the street and entered in the back door because it was faster to get inside. Discarding and ignoring the groceries that seemed oh so important a mere hour ago I grabbed her and placed her on our counter. As I brought her to my lips I became overcome with bliss and a feeling of love that I had never thought possible. Oh the pleasures felt that evening with her in my arms. I will save you the details of our evening together in fear that you will think less of me for giving into my temptations but I will say I would never give up anything for those hours of pleasure we shared.

Every time I visit my grocery store now I keep an eye out for her. She hasn't been there but eventually I have faith that she will be soon enough.


Flipside crackers, I love you please come back to me.

A letter to you

Dear reader,

Hi how are you? I'm fine. Did you have a fun Christmas? I always enjoy the holidays. So I have been wondering something for awhile now, since i started this blog really, why do you read it? I mean I know why I write it but I don't really understand entirely why someone would read it. I write because I hate writing in a journal but I need a place to write my inane and trivial thoughts. I write for the attention I get with every passing post. I write because I don't really have anything better to do and so I tend to ramble a bit (a lot if you ask Mark). I mean I realize you read this because I'm your friend and you love me and blah blah blah but why do you come back? Especially for those of you who read it from the beginning. I mean there was a stretch where I kinda forgot this thing existed, I would have figured you would have too, but no you have diligently continued reading my bogus and often incoherent posts.

Is it because I'm funny? I mean I have been told I have the second funniest blog out there (thanks Sarah, you're the second funniest Sarah I know) so that could be it. However it would appear if that is your destination should be Megan Belcher's blog for it is "the funniest blog out there" - Sarah K.

Is it because you hold out hope that I will say something poignant and deep? I hate to disappoint you but I am about as deep as the kiddie pool and just as filthy. Go read Mark or Kristin's blog if you want poignant and deep with a hint of confusing.

Is it because I delete posts you thought would be interesting when they showed up in your reader but when you got there it was nothing? Oh wait I don't do that, that would be Derek.

Do you like my cheery disposition in all that I do, while also enjoying my quirky design? Oops that's Sarah Hammond.

Also if you are looking for updates on my children and the rest of the family there's like 17 blogs to the right there that would be better fit since I rarely talk about my imaginary children since I wind up looking crazy.

I could keep going on reasons I think you might be reading this (you're looking for new and inventive ways to call someone fat perhaps?) but instead I will go with why I think you actually are reading this (confused? It's simple those other ones were jokes. Were they funny? No? this would be why I am in second.)

You are my close friends. According to the 2 separate site monitors I have on this blog the majority of my readers are in Seattle. Of the ones that are outside of Seattle they come from places I have either family or old friends that I have kept in contact with through facebook. You folks are awesome and I appreciate your reading.

You really like movie posters. I'd say during the holidays I got 3-4 hits a day from people looking for the posters that I used in my top 10 lists. I don't blame them they are awesome posters.

You actually DO find me funny. I don't think a social event goes by that I don't hear from someone telling me they love my blog and how funny it is. recently I had at least 7 people tell me they wanted to punch the poor old Asian lady in the face for calling me fat. I'm once again thankful for all the support in my writing as I surprisingly enough put a lot of thought and effort into these blog posts and I am grateful that the effort is worth it.

You want to get to know me better. Well folks you have come to the right place on that one. The only place I talk more about the intricacies of my feelings and my daily life is on Twitter. Normally my stories would be shared with a small few but through this blog and twitter I have an outlet for them to share them with everyone. The only thing missing is my outrageously loud voice shouting without realizing I am shouting. You would be surprised how many people don't miss that.

You actually have patience and love my long-windedness. Some people (Mark) have grown accustomed to the insanely short writings of Kristin, Megan, and many others. Unfortunately I never really know when to stop and as such my blogs are very, VERY long. And honestly I am happy about that. All my favorite blog writers write long entries. Matt at x-entertainment.com is an excellent example of the type or writer I try to model myself after. Sorry if you don't like this but unfortunately for you I don't plan on changing any time soon.

Anyway those are my ideas as for why you read, though I really want to know honestly why you read. Unfortunately I know most of you won't comment because either you are shy or you would rather tell me in person, and that's fine. However you know what's fun? Using the comment sections. I really hate to have to plug my own comment section but it's kinda bare. I want it to be full. So please, just this once, comment here. I want to hear from you, all of you. If for no other reason than it gives me a better idea as to who is reading this. Either way I love all of you, but I love the ones that comment even more.

Sincerely,
Allen


P.S. Okay maybe this one is a LITTLE long.