It would appear to be kinda like Christmas

1. What is your favorite Christmas song?
I'm not a HUGE fan of the old standards, I mean they are great I'm not debating that. I'm just saying give me an updated version on the classic and I'm gonna be greatly pleased. I'd have to say my favorite would be either "Christmas All Over Again" by Tom Petty or "the Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth" By David Bowie and Bing Crosby


2. When was your most memorable Christmas?
I'm not gonna lie growing up I was very spoiled. I was one of the first kids with a Nintendo. I once asked for an entire collection of toys from my favorite cartoon growing up, M.A.S.K. and I actually got it thanks to my father's diligence and patience. However my mos memorable Christmas was the one where I learned all of that didn't matter. I was 4 and we were having a big family gathering at my Grandparent's place in Chowchilla, CA. Literally everyone was there. Unfortunately on the trip there my parents UPSed my presents so that they would get there. there was a big snow storm and in the confusion my presents were delayed and it very much looked like they weren't going to make it to my Grandparents in time for Christmas. My parents sat me down and explained this to me, and of course I pouted for a bit but I understood that I still got my presents that my grandparents got me, and that eventually they would show up. The day after Christmas my presents arrive and as I had mentioned there were a lot of them. After plowing through all of them in record time I looked up at my parents and asked one question that would drive everyone watching into fits of insanity - "Is that it? Isn't there more?" My parents tried to tell me I had enough, I kindly reminded them that no that couldn't be all of them. My grandpa was amazed at my gumption, and low and behold my Grandma was the one to almost start beating me for being such a spoiled brat the likes of which is reserved for that very special holiday Blossom where the kids learn all about Christmas by feeding the homeless. To this day I contend I only asked because the day before it seemed like opening presents took a lot longer and thus everyone got more. turns out when you're the only one opening them it really doesn't take that long to unwrap 79 hot wheels cars.


3. What is your favorite Christmas treat?
As a family tradition my grandparents send off to each one of their children a pound of Pistachios. And while I am not a fan of them I still look forward to seeing them come because it meant it was Christmas time. Now as for treats I actually eat, Danish butter cookies are AMAZING, I could drink a gallon of Egg Nog every single day, and of course everyone needs to eat 1 sectionalized festively designed tin of popcorn during the holidays.

4. What do you dislike most about the Christmas season?
Honestly, there isn't a whole lot about the holidays I don't like. I mean sure I could say working retail has caused me to hate malls and all things not online shopping related but it pays my bills and allows me to buy gifts for all my friends so I love it. If I had to pick something I don't like though I'd have to go with the length. I mean I know it's stereotypical and obvious to complain about how it seems holidays start earlier and earlier every year but it's just frustrating to have to set your holiday decorations at work before the Pilgrims are even off the boat.


5. What do you like best about the Christmas season?
Call me crazy but I absolutely LOVE Christmas movies. So much so that I have been found to watch Scrogged in July. After the movies comes just the general feeling of the season. Now no one with any sense will compare Seattle to other big cities like say New York when it comes to hospitality, but still 10 months out of the year I'm convinced everyone around me who I don't know on a personal basis are the scum of the earth and deserve nothing but sweet sweet death. Then suddenly it's the Christmas season and I smile more, I talk to strangers without the slightest hint of disdain. Sure I'm still sarcastic and snide but I'm still happy about it.


6. Who is the hardest person to shop for on your Christmas list?

Honestly I don't have a hard time shopping for anyone. I find that this time of year is where my observational skills really come into effect in finding that perfect gift. take last year for example and my step mother, a notoriously hard gift to place. I had recently moved out and I knew they make a lot of salads to go with their meals and I was working at Pottery Barn Kids at the time and so I got a discount at William Sinoma as well and so I went there and got her a new salad washer from OXO. It was a bit bigger than the one she used that was breaking but it was also sturdier and quite easy on her hands. Well when I gave it to her of course she acted like she liked it just fine, but she really liked the one she had. My dad had even tried to get her the same one awhile back only leading to it being returned. She promised to try it out though and 2 weeks later she was in love with the new one and thanked me oh so greatly for the gift. Sure I still ask people what they want but generally that is and always will be greeted with the sentence "Oh you don't have to get me anything", but as I've learned people like presents and it's always nice to show your appreciation to them when you're usually mean to them.

7. If you could receive one gift without money being an issue, what would it be?

the price of the gifts has never really been an issue for me throughout my life to be completely honest. I mean sure I ask for expensive things (just click on my Amazon wishlist to the right for confirmation on that) but at the same time the things I really want never really have a price tag. In fact right now I think the greatest gift anyone could possibly give me would be a cure for MS so that my mom could be healthy enough to loose weight on her own instead of thinking surgery was the answer. I want nothing more than for her to live the life her mind thinks she can instead of the one her body won't allow. Though if you can't do that I'd take a Lego Millennium Falcon.

8. What is your idea of a perfect Christmas Eve?

My perfect Christmas Eve probably doesn't really make sense to most people, but then again maybe it will. What it entails is a nice dinner with my wife and my 3year old child, who's all excited for their first Christmas where they actually "get it". I'll tuck them in extra early and then get to work on the little one's presents once they are fully asleep. Staying up extra late to put together their new bike or some other newfangled gadget that I will need to put together and get on display for them so they can play with it right away. Stuffing their stocking with peanuts and oranges and other little trinkets. Getting the finishing touches on everything just in time for the little one to wake up and run downstairs and play with their toys the next morning. The sense of joy on that child's face the only thanks I get for all the effort to make things perfect is all I need.

9. Which do you like best, eggnog, or hot chocolate?

Finally a question I can answer without running on like an idiot! The answer is simple - Egg Nog. It's not that I dislike hot chocolate, it's just you can have that any time of the year. If you want Egg Nog in June you have to make that stuff yourself!

10. Do you prefer a fancy Christmas tree, or one decorated by the kids?

Honestly I haven't had a fancy tree. growing up my tree was covered in cheesy plastic apples and red bows. In fact those decorations were still on my tree until I was at least 20. At some point we adopted some small ornaments my Grandmother who has sense passed painted, and some that I did in like the 4th grade. Sure once the apples and bows went away much to my great pleasure as I loathed those apples and bows, we got some shiny balls and such but we kept the hand painted ornaments too. And honestly I don't know what Christmas would be like without them.

11. What is your favorite family Christmas tradition?

The older I got the more and more Christmas just became another day to me and my family. The only tradition which has stayed since I was a kid was that I would wake my mom up extra early to open our presents and then I'd stay up while she went back to bed. I think towards the end of us living together it just got to the point we were both up at midnight, and then at 12:01 we opened our presents. And then of course there was the tradition of making a full Christmas dinner for just the 2 of us and having leftovers for the next 2 weeks. That was a good one too.

12. Do you like fruitcake?

I've honestly never had fruitcake. though I can say it doesn't look very appetizing.

13. Do you prefer skiing or snowboarding?

Fat people don't ski or snowboard. It's just not right.

14. Are you dreaming of a White Christmas, or do you say “Bah Humbug” to snow?

If I don't have to go out in it or drive anywhere I love to sit and watch it snow. there is just something so peaceful about watching it glide it's way down from the sky with such ease that puts your heart at ease and eliminates all burdens in your life. However people in Seattle can't drive on the stuff so if you're on the road be prepared to be thoroughly annoyed and all those burdens are right there on the road with you.

15. What was your favorite gift from Santa when you were a child?
My loss in faith in the existence of Santa came ridiculously early and at the hands of culprits you would least expect, my Mother. I only tell this story because it ties to my favorite gift of all time. M.A.S.K. (Mobile Armored Strike Kommand) was big when I was a kid though it didn't stick around for too long. It was an odd combination of GI Joe and Transformers where a team of good guys had masks with special powers and cars that turned into other vehicles that also had super powers. It was a cartoon that could only exist in the 80's. Of course with any good cartoon we were inundated with commercials for the toys so much so that I think collectively I saw more minutes of commercial than cartoon. That year for Christmas I was still asking big. I wanted the ENTIRE collection of MASK toys. I had maybe 2 of them before Christmas and it was at least an 30 piece collection. I woke up Christmas morning and low and behold they were all there. Every member of Venom, all the MASK team, even their mountain base which doubled as a storage container. I was in absolute heaven. 3 weeks later they were all broken and a mess on my floor but I loved those toys. To finish my story my mom discovered all my broken toys that my dad had put a lot of effort into collecting for me on my bedroom floor while I was at school. After picking me up at school she proceeded to berate me for breaking my toys and being so lackadaisical about it. "Santa gave me those toys" I reasoned. I mean once they were given to me clearly they were mine to do with as I deemed necessary. And if I broke them they were conjured up with magic by elves so really what's the loss on elvish magic? "WHO DO YOU THINK SANTA CLAUS IS?!?!?!?!" was my mother's reply through her teeth. I was grounded for the next month, but I think my real punishment was an early loss of Christmas spirit.


16. What is your favorite Christmas movie?
Alright I've got a couple favorites so I think I will once again have a long rambling answer here. Growing up I would always watch "Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas" a movie I still love to this day. It was done by Jim Henson before I was born and it's kinda a retelling of the Gift of the Maggi with Otters. Really cute and great musical numbers. Of all the Christmas Carol type movies I would have to cite Scrooged as my favorite. It's a classic and Bill Murray has never been more perfectly suited for a role before or since. And then of course there is the reliable and classic National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story. Not a single Christmas can be complete without a viewing of both.


17. Have you ever eaten snow?
Absolutely! Though I do have a rule. Only fresh snow can be eaten and it must be high enough that you can't see grass. That way you know you won't get any dirt. And of course no yellow snow is an obvious comment that really shouldn't have to be said.


18. Who do you wish could be with you this Christmas?
I've never had a big family growing up so aside from that one Christmas when I was 4 at my grandparents I've never had a huge Christmas full of loved ones. I guess it's because of that that I wish I could just once have all my friends and loved ones together for Christmas in one place. I don't want anyone to feel excluded because I left out their name so I won't name specific names but you should know that if we've ever been close in my entire life, I want you there. Every extended family, every adopted family, all of my best friends throughout the years, I want you here for Christmas. we simply don't see enough of each other (except for you Kurt and Mark, I see you guys all the time) and you really do mean that I wish you were here.


19. When do you put up your Christmas lights and decorations?
Right now I'm waiting patiently for me to get some money so I can go out and buy a real tree for the first time in many years, however I have a Christmas party at my house on Sunday so I'll probably wind up busting out my tiny fake tree one more time this year and spend my post Christmas shopping buying decorations and a tree stand for my live tree next year.


20. Real or artificial Christmas tree?
I've always been a proponent for the artificial tree with the lights already built into the branches, but lately I have been really wanting a real tree, I'm not sure why. I haven't had a real tree in at least a dozen years but now I really want one.