Words I Should Have Said

Hey.  How are you doing?  I hope everything is going well with you in your new life.  I hear things are going smoothly and that you are quite happy, and I am truly glad.  Anyway enough with the small talk it's time I just came out and cut to the chase.  A few months ago I deleted you from Facebook and Twitter.  About a month after that I finally worked out the courage to delete your number from my phone.  This isn't my way of apologizing for doing that because in all honesty you deleted me first.

Yeah that's right you deleted me first.

If we were to take a ride in the Way Back Machine to four years back you would see that you were my best friend.  I could tell you anything.  We would text until the ends of the night.  It was because of you that I had to get unlimited texts you remember that?  You told me about how the latest boy you were dating was driving you crazy, how much you loved a certain show and the time you spent with your family (even if they did drive you to the brink of insanity from time to time). I would tell you it would all get better eventually.  I would tell you about my struggles with my weight.  With my job. With my friends.  With my family. With everything. My favorite times together though was just being around you and not needing to say a word.  In those moments I felt like nothing could hurt me.  No matter what was happening through my life there was safety in those moments.

I thought you knew me better than anyone, especially when I would go through my phases.  You knew everything there could be about me and how I worked.  Sure we would have our moments of difficulty but what friends don't?  You knew about my tendencies to worry about nothing.  To make fun of and ridicule people, especially when I first meet them. To get quiet and whiny when things don't go my way.  To lie and say everything is fine when they obviously aren't.  So many other idiosyncratic aspects of my personality that even I don't immediately recognize.  Maybe at one point you did.

When you decided to move you knew how much it was bothering me and how much I believed that things wouldn't be the same once you left.  You swore to me that they wouldn't.  You told me that I would still see you when you would visit.  You said we would still talk.  You convinced me things would stay the same.

I really should have known better than to believe you.

It started off small.  I would send you texts and it would slowly take you longer to respond.  I would write on your wall only to be met with silence.  The birthday present I bought you was returned because you couldn't get time off work to come up for the game.  You did make time to see me when you came up to visit your family so of course I forgot all about the past slights and thought everything was fine and that error in judgement got me through the next bit until I realized the cycle was continuing on.

Time went on and you told me about a boy you were dating.  How much you liked him.  How you thought maybe he would be the one.  I was happy for you.  I only made one simple request - Don't let me find out about your engagement on Facebook or Twitter.  You laughed and promised I wouldn't.  Four months or so later and you were engaged and I found out on Facebook and Twitter.  You claimed to have texted me but those things don't exactly get lost.

I blamed this distance that was growing between us on your new Fiancee.  He clearly was the one driving you away from any male friends you have out of jealousy.  Clearly if I could just make him go away I would have my friend back.  And so came the day that I finally met the man I disliked so very much.  I would make him feel  unwelcome among your friends he would leave you.  The plan was simple.  Obvious.  I made fun of him, ignored him.  Basically treated him like crap.  The funny thing was he took it.  He was a good sport about it, and he even seemed like he was actually a nice guy.  Now I realize that it wasn't your now husband's fault we grew apart and I am greatly sorry for how I treated him.  He didn't deserve that.  All he wanted was to be my friend and I pushed him away.  If I could take back the way treated him that night I would.

After that day things were awkward between us.  I never really quite felt like you wanted to talk to me.  You stopped following me on Twitter.  You stopped responding to my texts.  After I planned a trip to San Fran to visit you and get to know your fiancee more you magically had to go out of town the weekend I had planned even after verifying with you that you would be in town before I booked.  You essentially vanished from my life.  I did get an invite to your reception but the entire time I doubted if you actually wanted me there.  Even up until the week before the joyous day I needed reassurance from your sister that you wanted me there.  Of course the entire time there was awkward, uncomfortable and only salvaged by mutual friends who knew my situation.  We talked a little bit but it was superficial and empty.

okayness.  I decided that I wasn't going to reach out to you for this to happen because every time I've reached out in the past nothing was reciprocated.  If you wanted to prove you wanted to still be friends it would be up to you to initiate.  When the time came and you were in town I gave you three days before I reached out to talk to you.  We talked briefly and in vague terms about getting together for lunch or something.  And then nothing.  Our last conversation led to unmet expectations.  How fitting.

Recently I found out why you stopped being my friend.  It seems that you didn't know how to be my friend after I made fun of your new husband.  I have multiple problems with that logic though.  I have made fun of almost everyone you have ever dated up to that moment.  I make fun of almost everyone I meet.  It's how I operate and learn how people will put up with me.  We never had this issue until him.  Furthermore you were my best friend. Best. Friend.  One would think with that designation you would know what I was doing and why.  Clearly you were just looking for an excuse to cut off your friends.

I wouldn't be as upset with this situation we currently find ourselves in if you had just been honest with me when you moved and admitted that things weren't going to stay the same.  Is it really that hard to say "Hey I know things aren't going to be the same between us once I move but that's okay because you're going to move on and find other people that will take my place.  We'll always have our memories and you'll always be near to my heart."?  No instead you toyed with my emotions and led me on and now those memories are forever tainted and I have no desire to ever have anything to do with you.  You ruined it.  Congratulations.

Goodbye.

A brief post of thanks

As a male I don't usually get to receive the benefits of the Relief Society. I mean I get the benefits of their smiling faces and their wonderful company on dates and whatnot but I don't get that sense of community and sisterhood that a regular member of the Relief Society SHOULD get. Instead as a man I am subjected to the Elder's Quorum. Now I may be entirely off base when I say this but, at least with my experience with a singles ward EQ there is no community or real togetherness. Rather it's a bunch of males sizing each other up as competition and declaring themselves superior in some way to make themselves feel better. The sisters have enrichment where the get together and talked and craft and learn skills that better themselves as people while also growing closer together as sisters. The men however have "Manrichment" where we sit around and watch sports, or play video games while eating pizza and beating each other up either physically or via the bloody games. I think that just made my point for me. I do have some friends in the EQ, but for the most part I keep to myself and I find myself making friends with the sisters which probably bothers oh so many of my brethren which I will admit is at least part of why I do it.

Anyway back to what I was trying to talk about before I tangented myself into dangerous territory - the Relief Society. I honestly do think that the strength of any good ward is in it's sisters. Earlier this week my mom went in for gastric bypass surgery. After she was released from the hospital she was required to stay in a hotel here in Seattle in order to recover fully and make sure there were no complications. She couldn't just go home because she lives in Prosser and that's too far from the hospital for them to get to any problems in a timely manner. I tried to get the time off from work so I could stay with her all day while she was in the hotel but unfortunately a coworker had already requested the time off and I was the only other keyholder available to close the store so I couldn't get the time off I needed. What commenced was a stressful week of me trying to figure out how to ask for help and who to turn to. Naturally I turned to my friends from the church and I also talked to my boss about working my schedule so I was working the least amount of hours possible while my mom needed me.

I heard very little back from anyone that could actually help me. I had friends in Idaho and the Tri-Cities say they would help me in a heartbeat if they could. My EQP and friend Carl volunteered for the first night with my mom which was a huge load off my shoulders. Then my good friend Laura called and said she could help the second because it's her spring break. I had Sunday off thanks to my wonderful boss Wes, and then I started to get phone calls and emails from other SISTERS in the ward offering their time to help. A lot of them couldn't actually help but they sent their prayers and well wishes anyway. Then my friend Megan volunteered for Monday and it looked like all the shifts that I had told people about were filled.

One little problem - when I sent out the email I miscalculated when my mom was getting to go home. I thought she was leaving on Tuesday because that was the fifth day. It turns out that she needed to stay for five NIGHTS and so once again I was left with an open day. Miraculously I didn't even need to ask for help. Sunday in the morning I got a phone call from Whitney in my ward's Relief Society presidency making sure that I had all the days covered and asking if there was anything she could do. I mentioned that I still needed Tuesday night covered and she said she was going to take care of it. I felt relieved as I passed on the information that she needed and I went about my day believing that someone would come through and that Tuesday would be okay.

After church Whitney called me and said that not just one sister but two of them volunteered to help on Tuesday and that Erin would be there from 4-7 and that Geneva, a sister that met me for the first time a week ago, would watch her from 7 until I got home from work. Everything worked out and on top of it all my mom has been feeling better and better as the days go on. I can see her strength returning and her spirits lifted and I can't help but think that while spending time with me is part of the reason for it, I really think that being able to see that other people who don't even know who she is care about her enough to take 4-6 hours out of their day and spend it taking care of her out of the kindness of their hearts is a much bigger part of it.

I just wanted to take this time to say thank you to all of you who helped, or promised to help, or wanted to help my mom this past week. Specifically Laura O'Brien, Carl Cutler, Laura and Byron Schmidt, Megan Wixom, Erin Leigh Chapman, Geneva Pelfrey, Whitney Thompson, Rachael Knudsen, Aimee Elber, Andreanne Loiselle, Jon Cox, Derek Child, Kurt Kaiser, Brian "Little Bingo" Stephens, and Wes Miller. Without you guys working with me I really don't know how I would have survived these five days. Both my mom and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being the single most amazing people that I know. I love you all, and I never say that so you know I mean it.

I love this boy

I met Mark very early in my Seattle adventure at a mutual friend's party. He was just visiting her from Spokane if I remember correctly. He seemed like an interesting kid and I thoroughly enjoyed the little bit we interacted. As I did at the time I went home and found him on Myspace and added him as a friend. Thankfully this silly little personal trait of needing to increase my myspace friends list through mere acquaintances and high school friends I don't talk with any longer has ended. Now I use Facebook. This "friendship" lasted about 2 weeks until Mark deleted me thinking he would never see me again. About 2 months later he was living in Seattle, in my ward and one of my favorite people.

Instead of just continuing to tell the story of Mark and I instead I'm just gonna break down into a list, aka the bloggers crutch, of some of my favorite Mark traits and/or moments. These are in no particular order, and I will stop when I get bored.

1. My hair apparently only looks good to Mark when I am sick.
2. I have never seen someone who seems to thrive on the failures of others try so hard for his friends to not actually fail.
3. If you ask Mark for something, chances are you will get it. Maybe not exactly how you expected to get it but you will get it.
4. If it's your birthday and you know mark even remotely, you will get a cake. The level of your friendship with him will be shown with the amount of effort and work he put into it.
5. Mark tries really hard. He may not always succeed, but he tries really hard. I think I love that most about him.
6. If I were to calculate just how much money/gas I owed Mark for all the trips, the pick ups, and the rides he's given me I'm pretty sure it would be four digits.
7. Now that I have mentioned that he'll probably make a joke about wanting to get that money.
8. He won't be kidding.
9. I'm not sure if this is Mark's favorite Allen story, but he tells it better than I do so be sure to ask him about me being pooped on by a bird.
10. Keep in mind at least 50% of it will be exaggerated.
11. Of all the roommates I am losing this month Mark is the one I will miss the most.
12. I am legitimately worried a polar bear is going to eat Mark within the first 3 months he is in Alaska.
13. He is probably vain enough to really love this entire post.
14. Except that last fun fact.
15. He stopped reading after the first paragraph.
16. I may make fun of Mark's love for boy bands and pop music but I wish I loved something that much.
17. No Mark, Happy Feet is not about the struggles of being a gay Mormon. it's about dancing penguins.
18. It is based on a true story though.
19. I'm jealous of his relationship with Kurt... well except for the gay parts of it.
20. You can finger paint with anything. Just stick your head in there.

I am truly thankful and grateful for the friendship that Mark has given to me these years. He has broadened my views and made me a better person over it all. Thank you Mark, for being you and reminding me of the person I should want to be. Well without liking boys. I'm afraid you're on your own on that one buddy. Have fun in Alaska, be safe, and be sure to never forget us.

For the record when I say don't forget us, I mean his friends, not that one time we hooked up. I would very much like it if you WOULD forget that Mark.

I'm not dead

I just haven't blogged in a good long while. It's not because I don't love you my dear, dear readers. No it's because nothing really interesting has happened to me. Life's little complications have come and gone with nary a reason to rant, or rave. Sure my Twitter account got hacked and as a result @allenbrand has been suspended until they can rationalize that perhaps someone with an account for over 2 years and over 12,000 updates isn't a spammer but instead just a victim. Apparently that takes 30 days minimally despite it being the most blatantly obvious miscarriage of justice this side of Rowe v. Wade. (I have no idea what Rowe v. Wade is. I am assuming it has something to do with using a rowboat or swimming).

That's really it though. And when your Twitter account being suspended is the biggest event in your life.... well you're just pretty danged boring and there is no reason to blog about anything.

My room is approximately 130 degrees right now. Is that blog worthy? No? Dang. I was really hoping I could make this less boring.

So here is my to do list for the remainder of this week. Maybe there is something interesting in here.

1. Karaoke tonight with Rachel, Jon, Dean, and some other fine folks I don't know. Should be a great time. I wonder how long I can withstand Jon's torture before I cave and sing.
2. Work, work, and more work. I work every day this week and as a result, I am going to most likely miss out on an amazing party being thrown by the Pearce Sisters this Friday. It's days like this that I miss driving. Have fun ladies.
3. Saturday has officially been booked by Dean. I have no idea what we are doing but it's going to be fun, relaxing, and great to see her more regularly since she is moving back to Seattle.
4. Mancakes. I have already conquered the 12 egg omelet at Beth's. Now it is time my stomach took a road trip. Portland here we come. 1 small stack of mancakes. Each one is 13" around and about an inch thick. One would think such a magnificent feast would cost the blood of your first born child, but no! You can have 3 mancakes for the low price of $4.50! How can I not at least try and feast on this beast?

Yeah that's all I have. For the most part my goal is to stay cool, and out of the heat while still having fun. Hopefully I will succeed. And if not, well there's always next week.

Oh yeah I have a Blog

After being called out for lack of writing by no less than 79 people* (actually 2 but let's pretend I'm popular) I have decided to let everyone know how my birthday went. The entire weekend I was freaking out because I still had at least half of the tickets that people had purchased for the baseball game, and I was worried that people were going to back out or that I wouldn't see someone and then they wouldn't have the ticket that they paid me for. I don't know if I am going to do this again next year because of this stress. I took a lot out on my friends (sorry again everyone), and I wound up worrying about nothing.

So here's how I spent my actual birthday -

I woke up from a phone call from my good friend Zach who was supposed to be coming into town for my party. Turns out he had a little financial mishap and couldn't make it. I was completely understanding and we put some casual plans in order for a game later in the season.

I then laid around the house and watched movies.

At 3 I finally got ready to go out and I then caught a bus down to Safeco. The gates opened at 5 but I had to drop off a jersey that I needed to get lettered that I purchased for myself as a birthday present. I also had to drop some tickets off at will call for the people who I don't see all that often but were still coming. So I had 2 hours before most people would arrive to kill and I was by myself. Yay!

Quick note: I didn't mind being alone or being there as early as I was. It gave me a chance to get my jersey done before the game started and I also got to walk around the stadium and say hi to all my old co-workers that I love oh so much. I did wind up spending some more money on a Russell Branyan T-shirt but it was still a good thing I got there early.

The first guest I saw was Julean, unless you count seeing Ally and Morgan in the bus depot and them not seeing me. I don't know how they missed me but I'll take it. There were a total of 60 people including myself at my party and it was a lot of fun. My favorite part surprisingly enough was when everyone sang me "Happy Birthday". I usually hate this part and find it incredibly embarrassing but for some reason it just made me smile when at least 100 people are singing to me. Yes there were only 60 people there that knew me but complete strangers felt compelled to sing along. As Mark so wonderfully put it "it sounded like the entire ballpark was singing to you."

Oh yeah last year due to some diet mix up I didn't get a birthday cake. My friends were nice enough to not make me a cake because I was on a diet. I respect that. Still I whined about it for the entire year, at every single birthday party and every other chance I had. So in return I received two birthday cakes this year. Moral of the story: Whining and complaining work. I should do it more often. Big thanks to Mark Johnson, Kaylene Faucette and Leah Plank for the cakes, they were a little dry. Work on that for next year ;)

I only have a small batch of pictures from the game but I wanted to say thank you to Aimee for taking every last one of them.

I love this place... and Imri's failed Nazi salute.

Aimee loves taking pictures of me on my phone. I think I am on it a bit too much
Have no fear my texting thumb is a-ok!
If you ever have a chance, watch sports with Kurt. He knows absolutely nothing but it's hilarious!

this is about a third of the people there for me.Morgan and Jenny: I hate them for stealing my thunder. It's my birthday and yet which freaking adorable couple got on the big screen twice? Pure hate!This is Aimee. She took these pictures. Coincidentally this is probably the only time I saw her smile at the game. Why? Because I'm a jerk that's why.Stephen Barr: The latest person in history. he showed up in the 7th inning. I'm still glad he came though.

An addendum to my Lost post

So as it stands I was pretty mean and laid it on really thick to some people I hold dear to me in my life. they didn't deserve it no matter how frustrated I was with the things they did. So to make amends I offer this little post, in Alphabetical order -

Aimee - I love that you call me out on my crap even when I am joking and you don't realize it. I love that you are always willing to go out of your way to make people happy even if it means spending all day in the kitchen slaving over treats people will take from granted.

Derek - You truly are one of my best friends and I love spending time with you. I love when you make me laugh and I love that you are always willing to hang out with me. Sorry I fell asleep watching Golden Eye last night.

Erin - I love your infectious smile and your genuine laugh. You are a simply an amazing person who always brings an air of wonderfulness to the room.

Imri - I admire your sense of style and your compassion for your fellow man. I always appreciate the few moments that I do get to spend with you because you always find a new way to surprise me.

Joe Pete - I honestly don't know you so here's a nice thing about you, I really like your goatee.

Kaylene - Your bubbly and happy attitude is one in a million and I can't imagine a world without it. Your drive to make those around you happy does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. I'm sorry I snapped at you when you got up to spit out your gum.

Mark - You are one of the most caring people I know despite often acting like the most selfish person I know. You will go out of your way to help in any way you can when you see a friend in danger and you also have a way of making everyone's hardships funny and livable.

Troy - Your personality fills a room and your lack of a care in the world (at least to the outside eye) is always something I will strive to copy and achieve in my own life.

This post wasn't done just to suck up to those who I could have offended with my words, but rather it's goal was to show that even through all my frustrations with the way things go I still appreciate and cherish the time spent with my friends. Thank you for putting up with me.

It's hard out there when your life is so easy

So I have had a lot of time off recently. No my hours haven't been cut, I just managed to go 6 days and only working 13 hours. In all this time I have had a lot of time to think about things. My life is pretty easy going. I have zero complaints. None. The hardest thing I have to "deal" with is being responsible and growing as a person, and honestly that isn't too hard. And yet, I can't seem top bring myself to smile lately. It's not that I am depressed, I just don't have anything to smile for. It's like this conversation I had with Aimee last week, I was having a rough day due to a lot of my friends having a rough day/week/afternoon and the emotional toll it took on me was rough. She asked me if I was happy. I told her the fact that they (meaning the friends who came to cheer me up) were happy I was happy. She reiterated her question, "but Allen, are YOU happy?"

I didn't have an answer.

As I mentioned in passing in my last blog I seem to have forgotten how to feel. I have detached myself so much from everything and everyone through my constant complaining, joking, teasing, and a general "I don't care" malaise that I simply have a hard time grasping my own feelings and claiming them as my own. Sure I have my moments, when I'm making dinner for friends, when I am spending time with those I care about, or when I am coerced into baring my testimony in church by a great friend. But I can't figure out how to hold onto those feelings. What's the point of being happy when you are alone? Why bother smiling when you're at a computer, or waiting for the bus? Why waste the energy being upset when said bus is late? Or the people at the store are rude? Why should that effect my life at all? Simply put what's the point of emotions when you have no one to share them with?

I don't want to end this making you think I'm depressed or sad, because I'm not. Every single day there is always something, or someone that makes me remember the point of feelings. Even if it is just a simple joke stolen from a movie that very few people have seen. But the moments are there, and I am recognizing them more and more, and I haven't lost hope that I will eventually find someone who makes me happy even when they aren't there.

I smiled today, and that's a start.

Birthdays and Baseball

I wasn't always a baseball fan. In fact I distinctly remember in my interview one of the first questions asked was if I was a fan of the Mariners. The girl I had my group interview ecstatically went on and on about how she loved the team and going to games. I shrugged my shoulders and said that I had only been to two MLB baseball games my entire life and I went mostly for the environment. I even admitted to being more of a football fan.

She didn't get the job, I obviously did. Since then I have become a follower and a fan. I went to about 20 games last year for various reasons ranging from boredom to family and everything in between. If I open and there is a game that night, chances are I am going to that game even if I don't have friends going with me. I won't say that baseball has supplanted my love of the NFL but it has officially taken root in my life and I don't expect it to go anywhere regardless of if I remain employed by the Mariners.

Every year for the last 2 years I have been at Safeco Field on my birthday, and every year it has been one of the more memorable days of the year. Two years ago I was working, I had forgot to request it off. I forget what the big event was on this day but i do remember being asked by Marc our boss down at the ballpark the ever important question "What day is it?" To which led to this conversation:

me: "my birthday"
Marc: "really?"
me: "yeah, and you made me work ya jerk"
Marc: "you shoulda requested it off it isn't my fault"

I believe that cemented the love my job, because there are very few people who can get away with calling their boss a jerk, in front of the entire staff, and not get reprimanded at all.

After transitioning out of the ballpark at the end of the '07 season and into Bellevue Square I was able to actually plan my birthday party around going to the baseball game. The only issue was my birthday was on a Sunday this year. And with almost all of my friends that I wanted to spend time with on this oh so special day being Mormon and actually wanting to be seen as good people I wasn't sure how many people would want to come to the game with me.

I invited everyone. I wasn't expecting a huge turnout so I figured the more I invited the more fun Mormons I would corrupt and convince to join me. I think i had 14 people come join me at the ballpark. We had $7 center field bleacher seats and it was a lot of fun. My good friend Zach came in from the Tri-Cities to spend the entire week with me, we even took in 5 baseball games that week. My ex girlfriend Tori came to visit and brought two of her close friends with her from Yakima, and then some of my best and closest Seattle friends also came along for the game. Aimee was even kind enough to make homemade cracker jacks for everyone complete with prizes. The only aspect of my life not represented was my Lewiston Years, a transgression I hope to resolve soon. We had a glorious time, the Mariners lost (if you paid any attention to Seattle sports last year that was kinda common practice.) but it didn't matter, I was with my friends and I was happy.

This year once again the Mariners have a home game on my birthday. They face Baltimore and it's on a Monday. Once again I invited everyone. It's 1/2 family night down at the ballpark which means $10 seats and we actually get decent seats this year. I don't know how good the game will be, and I don't really know who's gonna come (so far 22 people have said yes and 25 people have said maybe. Like I said I invited everyone) but I do know that regardless it's impossible to have a bad time when there is baseball and birthdays especially when you have friends like I do who constantly bring joy to my life just by being in it.

The Wonderful World of Twitter

So it is no surprise to those who know me that I love Twitter. I don't think a moment goes by where you see me on my phone and I am not Twittering, or reading tweets from my friends, or thinking about something clever I should tweet. It's an addiction and I'm okay with that.

For those of you who don't know what Twitter is let me summarize and try to hold in my obvious bias. Twitter is where you share various things with your friends within 140 characters. It can range to what you are doing at that moment, to random thoughts, questions you need help with, or funny jokes designed to brighten the days of those who follow you. the only limit is your imagination and 140 characters.

I will be the first to admit twitter is kinda lame if you only have so many friends involved. For the first 4 months I really only had 1 person I talked to on Twitter and I mostly texted her during the day anyway so it kinda served no purpose except to see what she was doing and to make sure all was well in her world. And then I started following people, people started following me and soon I had myself a great group of people that I have never met though I still call friends.

Should you get twitter, and of course I recommend you do, you should look these fine people up. they are great and I am going to tell you exactly why.

errica - Dean was the first person who told me about twitter. She's my best friend and on a regular basis the strength that keeps me going. I love her.

Sample tweet - "Boys suck. They just want the sunshine in my pants. Well, i say no. Go find your own sunshine panties"

kibbe - I like to call her the East Coast Dean. She's punk rock with a New York Attitude and a gusto for the entertaining. She never ceases to make me laugh and provide me with endless entertainment.

Sample Tweet - "My dad's first wall post ever?? "Hi foxy lady it's great to have you as my friend" (that's to me, btw, haha) I AM LOVING THIS!!"

jamesbressi - James is amazing. he seems to know everyone, experience amazing things, and continue to try to expand his horizons. He is always willing to give me a hand and an uplifting word when I need it and believe me I often need it. He even lets me give him crap for his town's sports teams, you gotta love that.

Sample Tweet - "Don't u hate when u write something, but when u re-read it after u sent it u realized it sounds snippy, when u didn't mean it that way" (note: while I normally hate the use of the letter U instead of you, it is imperative with Twitter and turns out not as duchy.)

domonews - truth be told I love Derek and honestly if you aren't friends with him I don't think we could be friends ever. He's that awesome. He is always there when I need him, and even willing to sit through an atrocious movie like Blankman just because we both needed friends that night. He's the greatest.

Sample Tweet - "Just woke up sweating. Stupid heaters. Time to start sleeping naked again, maybe."

_aims - Aimee is adorable. There is no other way to describe her. She will always go out of her way to make others happy regardless of what is going on in her life. She still refuses to get twitter updates on her phone but that could just be because I update way too much. She's awesome and I hope she doesn't mind me saying as much. (she usually hates it when I say nice things about her.)

Sample Tweet - "I'm officially a wuss. The hunting game at Gameworks made me cry and I couldn't shoot the bears because I felt bad for the orphaned cubs."

kurtkaiser - Kurt is relatively new to twitter but I can say with great confidence that it has already taken over his life. He's funny, crass, caring, and he's still got that new user smell that makes him so much fun to play with. Kurt never fails to bring a smile to my face and he truly is a joy to talk with.

Sample Tweet - "Rachel Maddow has a twitter, i am more sold on this thing everyday. Rachel, I want to have your children."

cracked - Now Cracked is a website that I love and thankfully they carry their irreverent brand of humor to twitter. I haven't read an update by them that doesn't make me laugh, which is only a problem when I have to explain what I am laughing at.

Sample Tweet - "The alternative looked grim when my jobless sister read "Ass Gas or Grass" aloud off my bumper as I gave her a ride to narcotics anonymous."

fictionALY - Aly never ceases to amaze me with the amount of things she is willing to put out there for the world to enjoy. She also amuses me and my Catholic school marm fantasies every so often.

Sample Tweet - "I'm craving a Yoo-Hoo. With vodka. Gray Goose to keep it classy with the Yoo-Hoo."

hopeinhell - My personal favorite Australian female (okay so she's the only one I know but still she's awesome) she is always entertaining, and one of the two Australians that have convinced me they are all chain smokers.

Sample tweet - "Dear @hopeinhell. Please remember that any mention of nipples inflames the masses in future, and don't. Thanks @hopeinhell. :P" (the @ before her name is how you can tell who they are talking to. It serves as a marker of distinction between tweets as part of a conversation or just general tweets)

yonderboy - Alright yonderboy is an interesting character that again makes me laugh ridiculously on a regular basis. he is also one of my other favorite Aussies, especially since he claims to be sending me a candy bar that I just have to try. He has managed to help me and talk me off of many a ledge in the past and i am grateful for his friendship, one that I very much wouldn't have without twitter.

Sample Tweet - "i have somehow managed to tie my feet together by wheeling my chair around the office whilst wearing my headphones.."

WDC - Ah the friend I take the most crap for having, and honestly I can see why on a superficial level but considering how much this 14 year old basketball enthusiast and technical genius reminds me of me at this age, I am giving just about a negative amount of crap as to what others think. He's a great kid and i truly want nothing but the best for him and I'm glad to consider him a friend, To Catch a Predator jokes be damned.

Sample Tweet - "Going to reinstall Linux, again. It's too much of a hassle with all the apt-get issues. THis time, Xubuntu instead of Ubunu with XFCE." (he also says normal people things that I actually understand but this is just to show off his gibberish)

dougbenson - As you all know I LOVE stand up comedy, and Doug is a stand up comedian I have had the great pleasure to see live multiple times (in fact Kurt and I are going to see him next month!) and I am so glad to have him on twitter. He is also the star of the documentary Super High Me, and on pretty much every VH1 show ever. He also took the time to send me a DM (direct Message, or a message that just I could read) which is something I didn't really expect from any of the famous people I follow.

Sample Tweet - "If you see my awful Axe commercial, keep in mind that I didn't get paid very much to do it, which makes me the lamest sell out of all times."

taylor_blue - Taylor is a celebrity blogger and a stay at home mom. Sure a lot of her tweets are plugs for her articles but when she does interact with her fans/friends it is always thoughtful and great. She does that a lot as well. I always love chatting with her and she is often kind enough to rig her website contests so that I win them every time I enter (disclaimer that is a joke I win them fair and square), quite simply she's the best.

Sample Tweet - "Ummm I have to brag for a second...TEN Gossip was a semi-finalist in the Blogger's Appreciation Awards. I <3 TEN Gossip.com"

rufusisnodufus - So Rufus (not his real name but look at me not caring) is a new friend on Twitter so I don't really know much about him though I can say he is funny, charming, entertaining, and a rather quick learner. He is also just plain enjoyable to talk with. Oh and he loves himself some Oatmeal Raisin Cookies.

Sample tweet - "I just finished my oatmeal raisin cookie and I already miss it. Why did you have to leave me cookie!?!?!?!?! ::starts sobbing::" (see, madly loves them)

drewfa - Drew is also quite new to the world of twitter though he does have a great teacher in his roommate Kibbe. I can say he's funny, quirky, a delight to talk with, and I can already tell the two of us would get a long greatly if I were ever to make a visit to NYC.

Sample Tweet - "Just had to jump the turnstile at the subway because the train was there and my stupid card wasn't working! I'm officially a criminal..."

stickrachel - I knew about Rachel before we even met. She would be my competition with Dean for the title of best friend (currently I will say I am winning but only because I refuse to admit defeat) And once we met it just sort of worked. She's quirky and clever, enjoyable on almost every level of existence and once again, she's someone who makes me laugh. Quite simply I enjoy her.

Sample Tweet - "Dear Girl On Bus: Please buy a bra that fits your enormous breasts. They are spilling out the top, and not in a sexy way."

gregbehrendt - Greg is another one of my favorite stand up comedians, I have met him on a couple different occasions as well and is a genuinely great guy. He is also the co-author of a couple books, most predominately "He's Just Not That Into You". Interesting and fun fact, I was one of the first 10 people to follow him on Twitter and he has replied to me a couple times.

Sample Tweet - "@allenbrand Go about your life KICKING ASS! Always be in motion if she misses out on your awesomeness her loss! She had a shot." (best advice I was ever given.)

jennyjenjen - Jenny was the first person to follow me on Twitter that I had never met or interacted with in person. Funny story, I had no idea about the replies tab and what it did (it lets you see all the replies to your tweets from all of twitter not just those that you follow), and when I finally went through there I saw a few replies from her from a long time back and so I felt bad and started chatting with her. A rather fun and interesting friendship has grown from it. Yay replies tab!

Sample Tweet - "Might just be a Daft-Punk-blasting-out-the-windows kind of day. Reminds me of working the student club when I lived in Sweden :)"

decayedangel - Jes is one of my nearest and dearest friends. She has taught me oh so much and helped me become a better artist back when I actually had time to work on Graphic Design stuff. Our friendship kinda disappeared for a bit when I moved but thanks to twitter, and facebook we still talk occasionally. Quite simply she is awesome, and I don't know who I would be without her influence in my life.

Sample Tweet - "my dog just discovered the joy of opening the bathroom cabinet, gently pulling out q-tips & eating them. she's only smart when she's bad."

ttuesdayy - I'm working hard on getting Jennifer as addicted to twitter as I am but she is a hard sell. Either way she's a great girl and as one of the few people I know in real life who has an account I had to include her on here. Plus she's also all sorts of awesome so you know how that works.

Sample Tweet - "Maybe it's just homeland pride talking here, but the Oscar statuette is way cooler than the BAFTA masky thing."

So there you have it, my favorite tweeps, and a short take on why I love twitter. It's because of these people, and because of the new people I meet every day. It's a fun world they let me play in and I am just giving them some love back.

'Tis the Season for Christmas Movies!

Alright so there's a week and a half before Christmas and there is no way to avoid them - Christmas movies. Most of them are HORRIBLE, however I will now be sharing with you my top 10 favorite (in no real order for I love them all the same) Christmas movies of all time. You can argue with me all you want, in fact I enjoy it most of the time, if you think I left one off or included one that shouldn't be there (and based entirely on the events of my Christmas Movie festival a couple days ago people will disagree with at least one of them). Anyway on to the list.

10. Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas

Alright I will be the first to admit that my love of this stems mostly from my love of Jim Henson. Growing up I spent the first 6 years of my life on a steady television diet of Muppets and Fraggle Rock. To me this man is a god and could do no wrong. When presented with the gift of the Maggi as told through Otter puppets I just couldn't get enough. Sure their voices are a bit unnerving when they sing but they're puppets, you can't expect them to suddenly sound like amazing singers. And yes for the most part this has very little to do with Christmas other than being about buying presents for Christmas and taking place on Christmas Eve for the most part, but it has long been a tradition of mine that I simply can't get enough of. Unfortunately my friends didn't think the same when I shared it with them recently, but I guess without a childhood connection maybe I wouldn't have been so easily entertained myself. Still I love it!

9. Scrooged

There are approximately 9 million retellings of A Christmas Carol. i could have gone with a more traditional telling of the story or the ever so popular Muppet version, but I am anything but traditional and I already talked about my love of Muppets so I couldn't bring myself to do so twice on the same blog. No I need my Ghost of Christmas present to be sweet and innocent and then punch someone in the face for no real reason. I need my Ghost of Christmas Future to make me wet myself at the sight of him. Drunken taxi driver as the Ghost of Christmas past? Yes please, I'll take 2. Bill Murray before he got all serious and Indie with his movies, is a Christmas present I will cherish forever. Throw in a wonderfully clever acting job by Bobcat Goithwait and you'll be wanting to staple antlers to mice and be left wondering if that is a nipple or a shadow.

8. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
I LOVE the vacation movies. All of them. I even sat through that Vegas movie that shouldn't have been made. Chevy is a comedic genius when he wants to be and this one just proves that point. The end all be all of horrible Christmas dinners is an absolute blast. And who hasn't wished for some super strength lube to make your sled go even faster down the hill? Throw in the ever classic Christmas blow up and subsequent happy ending and you have the grounds for an instant holiday favorite that is required viewing some time from Thanksgiving to New Year.

7. A Christmas Story

They don't play this thing for 24 hours on Christmas day on TBS for no reason. This thing is a classic. Everyone has had their own variant of a Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time in their past and this is the perfect reminder of Christmases gone by. If you read my last insanely long blog you would know what mine was so I won't go into it again but every single year I love to watch this and remember more innocent times. Where a double dog dare was as good as a signed contract, and you actually cared about the toy in the box of cereal. Someone buy me that leg lamp.

6. Die Hard

Now I know what all of you are thinking, I've gone off my rocker in including this obvious guy film on my list of Christmas movies I love but no I tell you this is a Christmas movie. Sure it isn't traditional, but the story is all about a man visiting his estranged wife in LA at a Christmas party for her work and wanting to get back to his kids alive. You even hear the classic Christmas song "Christmas in Hollis" and other Christmas tunes. Now tell me that isn't a Christmas Classic. Yep just like I thought can't do it.

Just wait until I do a valentines movie list and try and explain why I think Terminator is a love story.

5. The Santa Claus
Okay back to the classics. Commonly referred to the last good thing Tim Allen has ever done Not counting Galaxy Quest. the idea of a normal man becoming Santa is a new and interesting take on the theme of Adults not getting Christmas and needing a child to remind them of it's wonders and the joys of the holiday. Tim is the perfect cranky adult who is bitter and neglectful to his child. That's the problem that the other films in this series didn't get, that's what makes this movie a success - not Tim Allen as an actor but the bitter and angry person evolving into the epitome of Christmas and Childhood joy. Once you lose that, there really is no reason to watch. Which is why I say just like I say with every movie series not a part of the big three (Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and the Godfather) skip the sequels.

4. Love, Actually

If there was ever a movie that epitomized what most everyone I know truly wants for Christmas it would be Love, Actually. The Holiday season is kinda rough without someone to love, and to share the season with and the older you get the less you want that person to be your parents. I mean I love my family more than almost anything but really I've reached that point in my life where I'd like to start traditions of my own and have someone to spend it with that I love who isn't a relative. This movie makes me think it's still possible and that some day I will have what they have. And that it could be anywhere I just have to keep my eye out for it.

3. Elf

The ONLY Will Ferrell movie as an adult that thinks and acts like a child movie I like. I'm just glad they haven't tried to destroy the pleasure I find in this one by making a sequel. I couldn't see anyone else in this role either, I just wish I didn't have to see him in this role while playing other characters in every single movie he makes not named Stranger Than Fiction. This one once again fits into the same position as the Santa Clause, kid(like adult) changes bitter old man for the better. James Caan is always a great idea if you need someone to be angry and look like they will kill you if you look at them wrong, and honestly if felt kinda weird to see him cheerful and happy by the end of the movie. Though I guess that is a good thing for the character since he became someone new and different by the end.

2. Serendipity

If you thought Die Hard was a stretch this one is as elastic as Stretch Armstrong in a sweat lodge. Honestly the connection to Christmas is as simple as the first 20 minutes and the last 2, but I don't care, I love this movie. Cusack and Beckensale have chemistry to spare and I felt for them not being together through the entire movie. Any chance I have to talk about this under appreciated RomCom i will take it. Now go rent it!

1. Charlie Brown Christmas
I wanted to end on a high note, and what better high note than Charles Schultz's holiday classic that combines the qualities I love about almost all of the other movies on this list and throws them into one event that goes above and beyond the gifts and the glitter and gets to the bottom of teaching everyone a lesson and showing them what Christmas is truly about the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. And so I will leave you with this. Merry Christmas all of you, I hope you get everything on your list, and a few things you didn't even know you needed.