My Top 10 movies of 2010

Sometimes I like to write pointless blogs that everyone else and their mother will also write over the course of the next two weeks.  This is one of those times.

I like movies.  Some would say it's an unhealthy obsession.  I would however say shut your face I'm watching a movie.  Clearly I win this argument.  Below is a list of my favorite movies of 2010.  As a disclaimer I have not seen True Grit, Black Swan or Yogi Bear and so they are not on this list and as a result I will state here and now that they are complete crap.  These are also in no particular order though I am sure I do have a few absolute favorites.  Click on the titles for links to their trailers if you are still not convinced of how right I am, though rest assured I am 100% right.

1. Scott Pilgrim VS The World

I would like to first take a moment to tell you all just how much I hate Michael Cera.  That man is single handedly dumbing down America and killing the art of the leading man.  If he died in a fire tomorrow I would be happy for two reasons: 1. he would be dead. and 2. People would stop talking about an Arrested Development movie like it is a good idea.  Now with all that being said Michael Cera and his whiny pathetic act are perfect here.  There was no greater reason for this horrible human being to exist than to make this movie.  All of the Evil Exes are great, Edgar Wright made the perfect graphic novel movie.  Everything about this movie is wonderful, and unfortunately it is almost all thanks to how perfect Cera fits in.  Kieran Culkin is also brilliantly cast as Scott's gay roommate and he steals every single scene he even breathes on.


2. The Town

I already had a feeling I was going to love this movie going into it because of the cast involved but I didn't realize just how much I was going to love it.  Coming off the wonderful Gone Baby Gone I was convinced that Ben Affleck just got lucky when it came to his directing but with The Town he really impressed me and he showed me some of his true talent.  He's not the best actor in the world but when he surrounds himself with the likes of Jeremy Rennar, Jon Hamm, Rebecca Hall, and Blake Lively's breasts you see less of his failures as an actor and believe him in the role.  This is one of the movies where for some reason you find yourself rooting for the bad guys to succeed and that is all thanks to some wonderful storytelling.



3. Inception

Is it a dream or is it real?  A better question is does it matter?  The answer to that is no.  Christopher Nolan has proven himself once again to be infallible.  Traditionally when you dip yourself in the Superhero genre pool your career doesn't come out the same.  From my vantage point most rarely survive.  Meanwhile all Nolan does to follow up one of the greatest comic book movies ever is create this mind altering experience that treats our thoughts like it's own personal marionette where we have no control at all.  Dicaprio shows us once again why he is one of the finest actors of our generation without an Oscar with his leading role.  All in all this movie was designed for multiple viewings and unlike other movies you can say that about, this one is well worth it.


4. Kick-Ass

There are very few times where I can wholeheartedly recommend a Nic Cage movie.  Honestly it's really only this one and MAYBE Family Man. It's just he has a very specialized brand of crazy that either really works or REALLY fails.  Thanks to some clever writing and a really clever Adam West impersonation his crazy really works.  That said though the real star of this movie is Hit Girl played by Chloë Grace Moretz.  I mean seriously how can you not fall in love with a movie that features an 11 yr old assassin with a mouth that could teach a few sailors a dozen or so new swears?   The answer there is you can't.  It's brilliant.  It's over the top in all the right ways and is the perfect deconstruction of the comic book genre.  I'm really disappointed more people didn't see this in theaters, so to make it up to me go rent it right away.


5. The Social Network

Sure they splurged a bit with the facts.  You really can't make a biopic these days without doing just that.  You also can't make one without making the person who's life you are chronicling a complete and total douchebag. Those are just the rules of the biopic.  The dialog is crisp and mesmerizing  in a way that only Aaron Sorkin knows how.  David Fincher is able to bring emotion and life to a story that is just about as mundane as mundane could possibly be.  I managed to sit through a two hour movie about Facebook and not feel like my life was robbed of me and that is an amazing accomplishment.  Jesse Eisenberg deserves a lot of credit too for getting me to care about a man that is so pompous and self absorbed that in most settings I simply wouldn't.  And I can't not mention Trent Reznor's amazing score.  It turns out he can make music that doesn't scare me.


6. Toy Story 3

Pixar has really made this really nasty habit of making movies that make me cry like a little girl.  From top to bottom Toy Story 3 would have to be one of my favorite films from the company that can't seem to do any wrong (this sentence will be null and void once Cars 2 comes out but I digress).  In a world where the third movie in any trilogy is most assuredly the worst (Return of the King was a fluke) it is refreshing to see one that doesn't crap on it's predecessor's legacy and actually manages to complete it.  There is really nothing much else I can say except thank you Pixar for your continued dedication to brilliance and for making movies for the right reasons.  I hope eventually everyone else can live up to your example.


7. Hot Tub Time Machine

I will not sit here and tell you that this movie is brilliant.  It's not.   In fact it's quite impressively stupid.  However that doesn't stop it from being hilarious.  It's self awareness of exactly what it is is refreshing and in it's own way what doesn't let it become terrible.  Sure it focuses too much energy on John Cusak and his search for love instead of Rob Colddry or Craig Robinson but honestly you can't completely blame them.  From beginning to end this movie gave me exactly what I expected from it and it did it with charm and semen jokes.  Well played good sirs, well played.



8 Catfish

There isn't much I am going to tell you about this movie.  In fact there is nothing I am going to tell you about this movie.  I will tell you that for the 48 hours after I saw this movie I lost all faith I had in humanity.  No, I didn't have a ton of faith to begin with but this movie killed it.  You owe it to yourself to watch this movie.  Just do it.  And not just because it's marketing told you to, but because I told you to.



9. Iron Man 2

This spot was a tough choice for me but in the end Iron Man 2 won out over Tron Legacy because while Tron was beautiful to look at, IM2 was better acted and flowed seamlessly from the first one.  Also my love of Scarlett Johansson in the skin tight Black Widow outfit did not hurt either.  The chemistry that seemed to be missing from Roddy and Tony Stark was remedied by the inclusion of the amazing Don Cheadle.  Robert Downey Jr is also astounding and proved once again that he really is the only man for the role of Tony Stark.  Yes the movie had it's flaws but once again it's a comic book movie and for that I can easily forgive it it's ttransgressions and flimsy plot devices and side stories.


10. Buried

It's a movie in which Ryan Reynolds is on my screen 100% of the time.  On what planet did you people not think this would be on my list?  In all seriousness though this movie was intense and riveting.  At a little over 90 minutes it is the perfect length for such a brave and unique movie idea.  It's just you and Ryan trapped in a box in the Iraq desert with just a cell phone to survive.  The tension builds perfectly, the ebbs and flows of the emotions brought about through the ordeal are incredibly suspenseful.  Just a top notch effort all the way around.  Did I mention it's Ryan Reynolds in a box?  It's like the writers of this movie found my Christmas list and turned it into a suspense movie.



Honorable mentions:
Tron Legacy
Red
Cyrus
Four Lions
Tucker And Dale VS Evil
Trotski

'Tis the Season for Christmas Movies!

Alright so there's a week and a half before Christmas and there is no way to avoid them - Christmas movies. Most of them are HORRIBLE, however I will now be sharing with you my top 10 favorite (in no real order for I love them all the same) Christmas movies of all time. You can argue with me all you want, in fact I enjoy it most of the time, if you think I left one off or included one that shouldn't be there (and based entirely on the events of my Christmas Movie festival a couple days ago people will disagree with at least one of them). Anyway on to the list.

10. Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas

Alright I will be the first to admit that my love of this stems mostly from my love of Jim Henson. Growing up I spent the first 6 years of my life on a steady television diet of Muppets and Fraggle Rock. To me this man is a god and could do no wrong. When presented with the gift of the Maggi as told through Otter puppets I just couldn't get enough. Sure their voices are a bit unnerving when they sing but they're puppets, you can't expect them to suddenly sound like amazing singers. And yes for the most part this has very little to do with Christmas other than being about buying presents for Christmas and taking place on Christmas Eve for the most part, but it has long been a tradition of mine that I simply can't get enough of. Unfortunately my friends didn't think the same when I shared it with them recently, but I guess without a childhood connection maybe I wouldn't have been so easily entertained myself. Still I love it!

9. Scrooged

There are approximately 9 million retellings of A Christmas Carol. i could have gone with a more traditional telling of the story or the ever so popular Muppet version, but I am anything but traditional and I already talked about my love of Muppets so I couldn't bring myself to do so twice on the same blog. No I need my Ghost of Christmas present to be sweet and innocent and then punch someone in the face for no real reason. I need my Ghost of Christmas Future to make me wet myself at the sight of him. Drunken taxi driver as the Ghost of Christmas past? Yes please, I'll take 2. Bill Murray before he got all serious and Indie with his movies, is a Christmas present I will cherish forever. Throw in a wonderfully clever acting job by Bobcat Goithwait and you'll be wanting to staple antlers to mice and be left wondering if that is a nipple or a shadow.

8. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
I LOVE the vacation movies. All of them. I even sat through that Vegas movie that shouldn't have been made. Chevy is a comedic genius when he wants to be and this one just proves that point. The end all be all of horrible Christmas dinners is an absolute blast. And who hasn't wished for some super strength lube to make your sled go even faster down the hill? Throw in the ever classic Christmas blow up and subsequent happy ending and you have the grounds for an instant holiday favorite that is required viewing some time from Thanksgiving to New Year.

7. A Christmas Story

They don't play this thing for 24 hours on Christmas day on TBS for no reason. This thing is a classic. Everyone has had their own variant of a Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time in their past and this is the perfect reminder of Christmases gone by. If you read my last insanely long blog you would know what mine was so I won't go into it again but every single year I love to watch this and remember more innocent times. Where a double dog dare was as good as a signed contract, and you actually cared about the toy in the box of cereal. Someone buy me that leg lamp.

6. Die Hard

Now I know what all of you are thinking, I've gone off my rocker in including this obvious guy film on my list of Christmas movies I love but no I tell you this is a Christmas movie. Sure it isn't traditional, but the story is all about a man visiting his estranged wife in LA at a Christmas party for her work and wanting to get back to his kids alive. You even hear the classic Christmas song "Christmas in Hollis" and other Christmas tunes. Now tell me that isn't a Christmas Classic. Yep just like I thought can't do it.

Just wait until I do a valentines movie list and try and explain why I think Terminator is a love story.

5. The Santa Claus
Okay back to the classics. Commonly referred to the last good thing Tim Allen has ever done Not counting Galaxy Quest. the idea of a normal man becoming Santa is a new and interesting take on the theme of Adults not getting Christmas and needing a child to remind them of it's wonders and the joys of the holiday. Tim is the perfect cranky adult who is bitter and neglectful to his child. That's the problem that the other films in this series didn't get, that's what makes this movie a success - not Tim Allen as an actor but the bitter and angry person evolving into the epitome of Christmas and Childhood joy. Once you lose that, there really is no reason to watch. Which is why I say just like I say with every movie series not a part of the big three (Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and the Godfather) skip the sequels.

4. Love, Actually

If there was ever a movie that epitomized what most everyone I know truly wants for Christmas it would be Love, Actually. The Holiday season is kinda rough without someone to love, and to share the season with and the older you get the less you want that person to be your parents. I mean I love my family more than almost anything but really I've reached that point in my life where I'd like to start traditions of my own and have someone to spend it with that I love who isn't a relative. This movie makes me think it's still possible and that some day I will have what they have. And that it could be anywhere I just have to keep my eye out for it.

3. Elf

The ONLY Will Ferrell movie as an adult that thinks and acts like a child movie I like. I'm just glad they haven't tried to destroy the pleasure I find in this one by making a sequel. I couldn't see anyone else in this role either, I just wish I didn't have to see him in this role while playing other characters in every single movie he makes not named Stranger Than Fiction. This one once again fits into the same position as the Santa Clause, kid(like adult) changes bitter old man for the better. James Caan is always a great idea if you need someone to be angry and look like they will kill you if you look at them wrong, and honestly if felt kinda weird to see him cheerful and happy by the end of the movie. Though I guess that is a good thing for the character since he became someone new and different by the end.

2. Serendipity

If you thought Die Hard was a stretch this one is as elastic as Stretch Armstrong in a sweat lodge. Honestly the connection to Christmas is as simple as the first 20 minutes and the last 2, but I don't care, I love this movie. Cusack and Beckensale have chemistry to spare and I felt for them not being together through the entire movie. Any chance I have to talk about this under appreciated RomCom i will take it. Now go rent it!

1. Charlie Brown Christmas
I wanted to end on a high note, and what better high note than Charles Schultz's holiday classic that combines the qualities I love about almost all of the other movies on this list and throws them into one event that goes above and beyond the gifts and the glitter and gets to the bottom of teaching everyone a lesson and showing them what Christmas is truly about the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. And so I will leave you with this. Merry Christmas all of you, I hope you get everything on your list, and a few things you didn't even know you needed.

Looking for a good scare?

Alright so in an effort to blog more I have decided to take one of my favorite subjects, movies, and apply a holiday twist to it and create a list. So here are my top 10 favorite scary movies. As far as I am concerned these movies are guaranteed to score you some quality cuddle time with pretty much any girl, which let's face it is the only real reason to watch a scary movie because it certainly isn't for the acting or the story.

#10 Jurassic Park
Alright so first things first you are absolutely LYING if you say Jurassic Park isn't scary. I know it isn't a slasher flick or a blood and guts torture porn flick that seems to crowd the movie theaters every Halloween lately but that definitely does not mean it isn't scary. All I need to say to prove my point is you take one look at the scene when Nedry dies and it's perfect arch of ealiviating all tention when he goes from a state of complete fear to letting his guard down (and the audience does as well) only to be shocked and scared when it turns out that little adorable creature he was just playing fetch with is a violent creature with a thirst for fat antagonist blood. The absolute best part of this movie though is that for the uninitiated to how scary it is you can totally pass it off as an action adventure movie and then *BAM* your date is in your lap begging for you to protect her from the scary dinosaurs.
#9 Misery
Kathy Bates is not allowed anywhere near my person EVER. it is really no surprise to anyone to say that Stephen King books make the perfect transition to the big screen and if I had to chose a personal favorite it would be Misery. The sense of helplessness that you feel for James Caan as he lays in that bed unable to call for help and at the mercy of the incredibly creepy Kathy Bates is just too much for me to handle sometimes. Throw in the sheer gruesomeness of the hobbling scene and you have yet another scarefest that doesn't require blood and gore to get it's scares in. And I for one appreciate that in a scary movie.
#8 Jaws
So every single Halloween I seem to find myself wanting to watch Jaws. I'm not entirely sure why as again while it is certainly scary it isn't your typical Halloween viewing choice. Generally it seems those are slasher flicks featuring human bad guys with knives hunting and murdering helpless humans much to the dismay of local authorities. Okay now that I wrote that I think Jaws pretty much is a slasher flick without the slasher. At my latest showing I actually had 4 people get up and leave due to the eating of a child. I would call these actions a success for any scary movie worth your time when the leaves are turnign orange.
# 7 Saw
Unlike the Saw movies that followed this one actually told a story and didn't overly force it's gore on the viewers so it is defiantely a favorite of mine. Is it gory? Yes. And while that usually is a big check in the "don't watch" collumn for me, the gore serves a purpose so i am more than willing to give this one a pass. Also the ending will absolutely blow your mind and on that alone I am saying watch this one this Halloween.



#6 Poltergeist
Another PG horror movie for me and this one I really do love. I mean not only is it scary to think about but it also serves as a warning against allowing the Television to take over your life and take care of your children for you. Maybe if Craig T. Nelson ahd been a better father the ghosts wouldn't have had the oppertunity to attack the family becuase the TV would have been off and he would have been playing with his kids. As a child raised by television I have to say that the notion of your TV coming to life and trying to destroy you is the scariest thing imaginable.

#5 The Omen
This just in: Children are scary. It's their natural state. overly stoic children are even scarier. Throw in the name Damien and I'm pretty sure you have nightmare fuel to last a lifetime. Especially if you happen to be a nanny or a maid for a family with a child named Damien.




#4 Evil Dead
Death can be funny. Death by tree rape is definately funny. Granted I am saying that as a man so maybe ladies don't find the idea of being violated by an Oak as hilarious as I do but that's okay because that means you think it's scary. Also do not get tricked, Evil Dead 2 is just the same movie with more of a budget. If you want a true sequel check out the incredibly awesome army of Darkness. Seriously if it were possible I would have Bruce Campbell's babies.


#3 Scream
So you have a scary movie with a big name actress Drew Barrymore in it. She's even on your poster so clearly anyone who has ever seen a horror movie knows she's your scream queen and she's gonna live forever. And then she gets gutted by the garage door before the openign credits. Wes Craven throws everything you know about the horror Genre in your face, explaining every twist and turn directly to you, AND HE STILL MANAGES TO SCARE YOU. Congratulations Wes, you certainly deserve every ounce of fanboy worship you recieve.

#2 Alien
So every single time I mention how much I love this movie my dad tells me the same story. When my parents were still married they went to see this movie due to my father's unantural love of all things Science Fiction. He left with bruises that perfectly matched my mom's hand on his thigh that lasted for 2 weeks. Now while it is true my mom scares pretty easily the mood and the damp dark nature of the spaceship only adds to this being the prefect scary movie. Any woman out there willing to watch this with me has my respect and will always have a date for Friday nights.

#1 The Exorcist
A few years ago they re-released the Exorcist in theaters for Halloween and I got very excited. I had never seen it before but it had so much hype behind it and so much praise everywhere I turned I had to see if it could live up to it. I went to a midnight showing all by myself. the theater was packed and everyone was ready to be scared, well except me. For some reason when something is hyped up so very much I imediately assume it's BS fanboys who have no clue what they are talking about and that it can't possibly live up to it all. I am proud to say that The Exorcist not only lived up to the hype but it exceeded it. I left the theater with chills and a distinct fear of something I don't even belive in. Success was made and a new fanboy was born. Also I got a little chuckle out of the fact that someone had vomited on the sidewalk outside the theater for some reason. This is quite possibly the only movie on this list that i would actually have to think long and hard about seeing again, not because it wasn't amazing because it was, but more because it scared me that much.

Alright so that is my list that I managed to finish 3 days late for Halloween. Now I am fully aware that all lists are subjective and you may disagree with it. That's okay. Feel free to voice your opinion in the comments. In fact please do tell me where I messed up. I want to know what you would take off the list and what you would put in it's place.