When Allen Met Lost

So here's the thing, I had never watched a single episode of Lost until this season. I heard it was touch and go drama full of random acts of randomness that served no purpose except to leave the viewer screaming WTF loud enough to wake their neighbors crammed into a single hour every Wednesday. I have no time for a second show like that. I already watch Heroes, a show I find vastly superior. However I was still invited to a Lost party for the premiere.

I replied that I don't watch the show but thanks for the invite. Then of course I wound up with the time off from work and nothing better to do. I love social gatherings and I figured why not it's just one episode and I will get to support my friend Aimee whom I love dearly. It couldn't possibly be that bad. Besides the way mark talks about it makes it feel like it's the second coming of Christ in TV form so maybe it actually is pretty good.

Turns out my hatred for it was justified. It was confusing, confounded, full of unnecessary scenes and action. Nothing made sense. And I know anyone who is a fan of the show will chime in with "THAT'S BECAUSE YOU STARTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEASON! YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT FROM THE BEGINNING!" but here's the thing - this isn't a movie. It's a TV show. If I sit down and watch the aforementioned Heroes, true for my first episode I might be a little disjointed but you will still have a general feeling for what is going on, and I honestly feel that after a couple episodes in the current story arch you will get it without needing to go back through the entire series. And that is how it should be. Every week you want new viewers. People who didn't watch the week before, or the year before. that's how you judge a show's popularity. However Mr. Abrams missed that note and decided none of that mattered and as a quick way to sell DVD box sets he was going to make it as confusing and unexplained as possible so new viewers will need to buy the box sets thinking they will understand something but the truth is they won't because the show has ALWAYS been a disorganized mess.

And so with that I decided that I didn't like the show. However I still liked my friends that would gather together somewhere to watch so I continued to watch. And every single week I was just as lost as the last week. I often joked that it was just for Aimee's cupcakes but it was the people and happiness that they felt while watching it. The cupcakes, while always delicious meant less than nothing to me. I also have always gotten a kick out of watching girls jump and scream when something completely obviously startling is about to happen, it makes me laugh. I was often asked why I still watched it when I still actively campaigned against it and talked about how annoying I thought it was. This paragraph is your answer.

And then last night happened.

I think I finally started to figure out the show and vaguely tolerate it. I mean I am still not going to "catch up" on the show and watch everything from beginning but it is an interesting allegory about good vs evil and the plight of man when looking for answers about his own mortality.

However people watching became annoying. My friends went from fun and quirky about this show to quite honestly heartless banshees. I have zero problem starting a little late thanks to DVR, but apparently everyone in that room, despite others coming late were chomping at the bit and completely inconsiderate to the people who were late. I understand wanting to watch the show but the stupid thing will still be there if we start it now or 3 weeks from now. I had no real intention of watching the show. I would sit there and watch their reactions just like I always do when i watch with them. However due to my roommate Mark's inability to understand the concept of a remote control or the fast forward and play buttons on said remote control (the one that works EXACTLY like a VCR or DVD player) I had to watch intently and of course fast forward through all the commercials. And heaven help me if I couldn't get the remote to work because someone's head was in the way and I went forward into the actual show. Audible gasps and chants of "stop it Allen you went too far!" were heard echoing through our living room. The thing also goes backwards people. I am not a trained monkey who's job it is to fast forward through the commercials so you don't have to watch them. No I'm a real person who knows how a remote control works (which apparently makes me smarter than someone with a finance degree from the University of Washington's Business School) so perhaps you people need to lay off and let me do the thing none of you could/were willing to do.

Oh and let's not forget the ever nervous and twitchy Mark Johnson for second guessing me when I said I fixed our cable so the HD channels work just fine and that the ENTIRE reason I did it so urgently earlier this week was because I wanted to have people over for Lost. He did this at least 4 times. "did you record it?" "well which channel are you recording?" "so 104 is working now?" "are you sure?". Nothing bothers me more than when people are A. unappreciative of the things I do for them, and B. second guess my abilities, especially those when it comes to setting up electronic devices.

Anyway it's the end of the night and it's time to go home. How many thanks did I get for inviting people over? I will go with 2, Erin is usually good for a considerate thanks and Troy was also good about it. How many thanks did I get for operating the oh so complicated remote? None. How many thanks did I get for recording it so people could be late? Only those people that were late, because the others were too busy complaining about the fact that they had to be patient never mind that they still reaped the benefits of the late party by missing the commercials.

I know I shouldn't hold it against them, they were excited. And yet I still can't help but be disappointed by their behavior. I'll get over it, I always do (and in the interest of full disclosure I already pretty much am thanks to writing this blog).

And yet part of me is wishing for another writers strike so they have to have another season postponed. That'll teach 'em.