4.08.2008

Let's get it started

Okay so I used to blog all the time on my myspace page but then I stopped once I stopped using myspace every day and moved to Facebook (are you my friend? You totally should be!) But now I kinda want to start doing it again and I figured what better way to get started than by revisiting one of my favorite blog posts from my old blog and seeing if that gets me motivated. So without further ado here is the story of Allen and his Indian friend.

Okay so I've been going to school on Capitol Hill since I moved here and I know what it's like. I realize it's a highly gay neighborhood and I realize that as an incredibly attractive young verile man I would be hit on eventually. I just didn't think that when it would happen would be so... creepy. So I'll set the story because I love setting stories. It's 9:00 tonight and I am waiting for my bus. it's a half hour late and I'm getting cold and cranky.

Then a rather nice short fat Indian man walks up to me and starts making polite conversation about how the bus is late.
No big deal, I've done that before.
Granted I haven't gotten as close as he is to me while doing so but maybe he's just talking close because of his accent and he wants me to understand what he is talking about.
Ummm why is he asking about if I have a girlfriend or boyfriend?
What's that?
a Massage?
Oh a free massage any time I feel lonely.
I suddenly don't like where this is going.
Nah man I'm good I have plenty of friends to keep me company so I don't get lonely.
What's that?
Yeah I know sometimes it's nice to have Indian friends.
I just don't do massages man.
Yeah I'm sure you do it pretty soft but I just don't do it.
I'm plenty relaxed.
What's that?
Okay why are you holding my hand?
No seriously you can let go any time now.
Yes we went over this Indians make good friends.
I get it.
What's that?
Mouth massage?
ON MY WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
Okay clearly something got lost in the translation here because you most certainly did not just ask me what it sounded like you asked.
Nope you actually meant that.
No see dude, I don't exactly swing that way.
I'm flattered, really I am but I have strict no mustache rule that I can't go back on.
Gay clubs?
No I have no idea where they are in this area because, and I can't stress this enough I am straight.
Though this is Capitol Hill so I am sure there are about a billion of them around here somewhere.
Yeah Sam it's been a real treat meeting you but I really must be going.

Yeah NOT FUN.

1 comment:

Ms Merrill said...

Okay, so it's probably an old post, but your incredibly awkward story made me laugh. Because I could see it happening in my head, and it was plenty awkward.