1.17.2010

Unfair expectations

There are very few things about being in a singles ward that I don't like. I like the minimal amount of children crying. I like the general similarities in age that I have with everyone in the ward. I like pretty much everything. The one thing I don't like however is the automatic assumptions that if you arrive at a meeting with a member of the opposite sex and you sit with them you are automatically dating that person. Take for example this conversation I had with my old roommate Spencer today at a Munch and Mingle (or whatever cheesy name they are giving these "go find an eternal companion" post church mixers these days):

Me: Hey Spencer how's it going?
Spencer: I'm good. And you?
A: I'm doing alright.
S: So how did you meet that orthodontist girl you were sitting next to in church?
A: Huh? Oh Joan? She's an Opthamologist not an orthodontist.
S: Oh right, how'd you meet her?
A: Um she lives a block away from me. I'm her home teacher, I met her like a month ago.
S: Oh wow that's cool.
A: (finally realizing what Spencer is thinking) We aren't dating Spencer. I'm just her home teacher and since she lives so close to me I ask her for rides to church.
S: Oh okay....

Now granted Spencer isn't the most socially... aware person I've ever met but still this isn't the first time it has happened to me. When I was first interested in she whom shall not be named our very own bishop came up to me to ask about her and if we were together. And it isn't just me that this happens to. I am certain there are at least 4 people that I can think of off the top of my head right now that constantly get bombarded with these same sorts of questions. Now granted I think those 4 people should just hook up already (in pairs of 2 naturally) but that is besides the point. if they just want to be close friends who happen to be of the opposite sex then that is up to them. If they want to date they will do it on their own time and if for whatever reason it decided they should announce to the whole world "Hey stop asking my girlfriend on a date, she's with me jackass" then they will do so on their own timeline not yours. I really hate to speak in such blatant terms because we're all grownups (unless you're like 12 and reading this blog in which case I'm mostly worried about your taste in reading material) but essentially the only thing asking does is make you look stupid. Seriously regardless of if they are in a relationship or not you look stupid. If someone wants to talk about their relationships they will, if they don't they won't. All you are when you ask is the annoying person who doesn't understand common courtesy. If you absolutely need confirmation on if they are in a relationship observe, watch, check for signals. It really isn't that hard.

I get that as a singles ward the whole point is to mark your territory and find your prey. I really do understand that. However there is such a thing called tact and perhaps it's time we as a group start utilizing it a bit more before bad things happen.

4 comments:

NotAVisionary said...

forrrrr reaaaaallllll.

Sean and Amy said...

Funny... I never had that happen to me, even though Amy and I sat next to each other at Church for like 4 months before we even started dating. Maybe you should try U1. They're a little more mature over there. =)

Mallory said...

lol I love that you can describe something so accurately and funny all at the same time!

amera hearts said...

i should tell you about what happens in my singles ward. i just sit back and wait for the lolz....