He is not that Dramatic

This post goes out to Mark.




This is from the new TV show "Modern Family" on ABC. WATCH IT!

I forgot

I had forgotten just how much I enjoyed feeling needed, especially in regards to the church. Let me back up a little bit. When I first started attending committee meetings for the institute here in Seattle it wasn't just for the breakfast. Sure getting fed was good, but I truly loved helping out as much as I could and this gave me the opportunity to do just that. Early on my skills and talents in Graphic Design were noticed by my peers and as a result my niche was found. I began designing posters, handouts, little things like that in my spare time. I truly loved doing this as it gave me a chance to hone my skills and actually be useful in what I was doing. Adam loved using me for these things the most. He was always asking me from across the hall if I would design something for Understanding Mormonism for him or an ad for the Daily. It was a fun working environment and I was always happy to help.

Then my computer broke. I became lazy when it came to fixing it, and as a result I lost my place. Soon institute committees just became Friday breakfast for me, as I would show up, sit silently, help as little as possible, make a few sarcastic jokes, and then eat. Through this I then started becoming more avoiding when it came to actual church. I started being more willing to work more on Sundays. I didn't home teach, at all. My world became a little darker and frustrating place. I won't blame all this on my computer as these things have always been a part of my mind and personality, it's just the more I felt I wasn't contributing, the more I also found myself thinking that no one would miss me if I wasn't there, even once my computer was fixed I avoided making posters or helping out simply because I had decided it wasn't worth my time anymore.

This year however a dear friend of mine is the Institute President, and Brother Knowles and he went out of their way to ask me to design some posters for the upcoming quarter. Knowing that Jon had the ability to make these himself, it really meant a lot to me that he would still chose to come to me and ask me to do it. And so I started designing again. At first it was frustrating and my perfectionist side came out again, but I pressed on and remembered that perfection isn't possible, I created four posters that will be hanging around the institute for awhile. It felt really good to be able to say without a shadow of doubt that I belong and that I am contributing to something that is a great cause. I have felt so much better about myself since I started designing again. It has encouraged me to improve myself in other areas as well. I am walking home from work again, and in the near future I will be learning some Yoga as well, thanks to Dean.

I won't want to say this is all because of designing some silly posters that don't really matter all that much in the long run, but that is definitely a part of it. Those posters help remind me that I am a part of a greater entity and that it is up to me to do my part. I must be a working cog if the watch is expected to keep working. I am planning on attending at least one institute class this quarter besides committees. It won't be the same as my epic seven class quarter of 2 years ago, but it's a start.

Oh just because I know some of you won't ever see the posters actually hanging up at the institute, and because I love blatant self promotion, here are the 4 posters I designed. Please do tell me what you think, good or bad. I respect your thoughts and I can't get better if I don't get feedback.

abandonment

I might elaborate more in the future, I just wanted to make sure I remembered to post this since it's pretty much exactly how I feel lately, though less to do with death and more to do with just loss.

Halloween

This will be a quick and simple update, I just wanted to share this as an ringing in of the Halloween season. It's my absolute favorite retro pop website x-entertainment.com's Halloween jukebox! It's located right here, enjoy it if you dare.

As a quick plug, Matt does a lot of great work on this website when he finds time, especially on Halloween and Christmas time. If you ever wonder what I am talking about when I mention Knacks and Mare it's this site's fault. Read it, if you like me you will like it.

Summer: A review

Alright so Derek pretty much commanded me to blog again ("update your blog, ho") and without much to actually talk about because not a whole lot has changed since my last blog with the exception being my stomach exploded from those damned mancakes I have decided to pull a cop out blog and just recap my summer. Sounds fun don't it?

If I were to summarize my summer it would be this - baseball, movies, Bumbershoot. However that makes a boring blog so let's go into detail on that.

Now I work for the Seattle Mariners so you would assume I would go to a baseball game or two however I believe I have been to at least 15 games this summer. Sometimes they lost, sometimes they won, every time I had fun. A few highlights would be of course my birthday party, finally learning how to keep score thanks to Laney, the crying White Sox fan, getting to hang out with Michelle and Jess outside of the store, my first Yankees game in 2 years, and getting the courage to go to a game by myself and not hate myself for it. I've still got another about 10 games left this month to build even more memories from. Should be fun.

I make no qualms about loving movies. I had a horribly planned and unspectacular movie blog that I frustratingly quit before it had a chance to be good for goodness sake! Summer is pretty much Christmas for me and my love of movies. Sure actual Christmas time is great for the release of movies that are up for awards that people pretend they saw to sound more sophisticated to people they want to impress, but one cannot deny the power of the Summer blockbuster. I wound up missing a lot of movies that I wanted to see this year but I did see some really good ones, thought it was still one of the more lacking Summer movie seasons I have experienced in a few years. My personal favorite would be Inglorious Basterds, or (500) days of Summer. I successfully shut my brain off for GI Joe and wound up enjoying that, Transformers 2 had it's moments. I hated Wolverine. The Hangover was hilarious though incredibly crass in parts. I'm still mad that I haven't seen Funny People, Moon, or District 9 yet.

Bumbershoot is this weekend and for really the first time, I am actually planning on going with some friends. Last year last minute I went with Kristin and Holland on Monday but this year I am am volunteering with Kurt and then my friends Jen and David will also be attending on Saturday and Monday so the only day I will be wondering by myself is Sunday. The artists I am most interested in seeing are Katy Perry, Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, The Not-Its!, All-American Rejects, Sick Puppies, Todd Barry, Eugene Mirman, Aziz Anzari, The Whore Moans, PATTON OSWALT, De La Soul, Sheryl Crow, Uh Huh Her, Christian Lander's Stuff White People Like, Cold War Kids, Dyme Def, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Common Market, The Benson Interuption, Holy F**k, MSTRKRFT, Jason Mraz, Raphael Saadiq, The Helio Sequence, The Minus 5, Wyatt Cenac, Say Hi, Writers of Lost (mostly just so I can ask them if I can get some of the drugs they are smoking to come up with that crap), The Black Eyed Peas, Maria Bamford, Dead Confederate, Franz Ferdinand, Head Like A Kite, Modest Mouse, 3 inches of blood, Metric, the Knux, DAVID CROSS, Swollen Members, U.S.E, U-N-I. Guess how many of these I will actually see. My guess is about a dozen. I suck at time management when it comes to Bumbershoot.... and everything else too I guess.




Sometimes I wish I had interesting things to talk about besides the same 3 things. Oh well, you're friends with me so I guess you're used to it.