Sometimes I like to write pointless blogs that everyone else and their mother will also write over the course of the next two weeks. This is one of those times.
I like movies. Some would say it's an unhealthy obsession. I would however say shut your face I'm watching a movie. Clearly I win this argument. Below is a list of my favorite movies of 2010. As a disclaimer I have not seen True Grit, Black Swan or Yogi Bear and so they are not on this list and as a result I will state here and now that they are complete crap. These are also in no particular order though I am sure I do have a few absolute favorites. Click on the titles for links to their trailers if you are still not convinced of how right I am, though rest assured I am 100% right.
I would like to first take a moment to tell you all just how much I hate Michael Cera. That man is single handedly dumbing down America and killing the art of the leading man. If he died in a fire tomorrow I would be happy for two reasons: 1. he would be dead. and 2. People would stop talking about an Arrested Development movie like it is a good idea. Now with all that being said Michael Cera and his whiny pathetic act are perfect here. There was no greater reason for this horrible human being to exist than to make this movie. All of the Evil Exes are great, Edgar Wright made the perfect graphic novel movie. Everything about this movie is wonderful, and unfortunately it is almost all thanks to how perfect Cera fits in. Kieran Culkin is also brilliantly cast as Scott's gay roommate and he steals every single scene he even breathes on.
I already had a feeling I was going to love this movie going into it because of the cast involved but I didn't realize just how much I was going to love it. Coming off the wonderful Gone Baby Gone I was convinced that Ben Affleck just got lucky when it came to his directing but with The Town he really impressed me and he showed me some of his true talent. He's not the best actor in the world but when he surrounds himself with the likes of Jeremy Rennar, Jon Hamm, Rebecca Hall, and Blake Lively's breasts you see less of his failures as an actor and believe him in the role. This is one of the movies where for some reason you find yourself rooting for the bad guys to succeed and that is all thanks to some wonderful storytelling.
Is it a dream or is it real? A better question is does it matter? The answer to that is no. Christopher Nolan has proven himself once again to be infallible. Traditionally when you dip yourself in the Superhero genre pool your career doesn't come out the same. From my vantage point most rarely survive. Meanwhile all Nolan does to follow up one of the greatest comic book movies ever is create this mind altering experience that treats our thoughts like it's own personal marionette where we have no control at all. Dicaprio shows us once again why he is one of the finest actors of our generation without an Oscar with his leading role. All in all this movie was designed for multiple viewings and unlike other movies you can say that about, this one is well worth it.
There are very few times where I can wholeheartedly recommend a Nic Cage movie. Honestly it's really only this one and MAYBE Family Man. It's just he has a very specialized brand of crazy that either really works or REALLY fails. Thanks to some clever writing and a really clever Adam West impersonation his crazy really works. That said though the real star of this movie is Hit Girl played by Chloë Grace Moretz. I mean seriously how can you not fall in love with a movie that features an 11 yr old assassin with a mouth that could teach a few sailors a dozen or so new swears? The answer there is you can't. It's brilliant. It's over the top in all the right ways and is the perfect deconstruction of the comic book genre. I'm really disappointed more people didn't see this in theaters, so to make it up to me go rent it right away.
Sure they splurged a bit with the facts. You really can't make a biopic these days without doing just that. You also can't make one without making the person who's life you are chronicling a complete and total douchebag. Those are just the rules of the biopic. The dialog is crisp and mesmerizing in a way that only Aaron Sorkin knows how. David Fincher is able to bring emotion and life to a story that is just about as mundane as mundane could possibly be. I managed to sit through a two hour movie about Facebook and not feel like my life was robbed of me and that is an amazing accomplishment. Jesse Eisenberg deserves a lot of credit too for getting me to care about a man that is so pompous and self absorbed that in most settings I simply wouldn't. And I can't not mention Trent Reznor's amazing score. It turns out he can make music that doesn't scare me.
Pixar has really made this really nasty habit of making movies that make me cry like a little girl. From top to bottom Toy Story 3 would have to be one of my favorite films from the company that can't seem to do any wrong (this sentence will be null and void once Cars 2 comes out but I digress). In a world where the third movie in any trilogy is most assuredly the worst (Return of the King was a fluke) it is refreshing to see one that doesn't crap on it's predecessor's legacy and actually manages to complete it. There is really nothing much else I can say except thank you Pixar for your continued dedication to brilliance and for making movies for the right reasons. I hope eventually everyone else can live up to your example.
I will not sit here and tell you that this movie is brilliant. It's not. In fact it's quite impressively stupid. However that doesn't stop it from being hilarious. It's self awareness of exactly what it is is refreshing and in it's own way what doesn't let it become terrible. Sure it focuses too much energy on John Cusak and his search for love instead of Rob Colddry or Craig Robinson but honestly you can't completely blame them. From beginning to end this movie gave me exactly what I expected from it and it did it with charm and semen jokes. Well played good sirs, well played.
There isn't much I am going to tell you about this movie. In fact there is nothing I am going to tell you about this movie. I will tell you that for the 48 hours after I saw this movie I lost all faith I had in humanity. No, I didn't have a ton of faith to begin with but this movie killed it. You owe it to yourself to watch this movie. Just do it. And not just because it's marketing told you to, but because I told you to.
This spot was a tough choice for me but in the end Iron Man 2 won out over Tron Legacy because while Tron was beautiful to look at, IM2 was better acted and flowed seamlessly from the first one. Also my love of Scarlett Johansson in the skin tight Black Widow outfit did not hurt either. The chemistry that seemed to be missing from Roddy and Tony Stark was remedied by the inclusion of the amazing Don Cheadle. Robert Downey Jr is also astounding and proved once again that he really is the only man for the role of Tony Stark. Yes the movie had it's flaws but once again it's a comic book movie and for that I can easily forgive it it's ttransgressions and flimsy plot devices and side stories.
It's a movie in which Ryan Reynolds is on my screen 100% of the time. On what planet did you people not think this would be on my list? In all seriousness though this movie was intense and riveting. At a little over 90 minutes it is the perfect length for such a brave and unique movie idea. It's just you and Ryan trapped in a box in the Iraq desert with just a cell phone to survive. The tension builds perfectly, the ebbs and flows of the emotions brought about through the ordeal are incredibly suspenseful. Just a top notch effort all the way around. Did I mention it's Ryan Reynolds in a box? It's like the writers of this movie found my Christmas list and turned it into a suspense movie.
Honorable mentions:
Tron Legacy
Red
Cyrus
Four Lions
Tucker And Dale VS Evil
Trotski
We always seem to find new songs that seem to scream out from our souls as if the writers wrote them entirely with us in mind. Lately I can't stop listening to Kanye West's new album, but more specifically I can't stop listening to his song "Runaway". So often I have thought these lyrics in my mind, only to have them come out of the mouth of a man who essentially invented the word "bravado". And that's what makes it interesting. If he can hide these feelings from the world and convince everyone that he's one of the most self aware and self confident people in existence then why can't I?
And I always find, yeah, I always find something wrong
You been puttin' up wit' my shit just way too long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast
Let's have a toast for the douche-bags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can
She find pictures in my email
I sent this girl a picture of my, Dick
I don't know what it is with females
But I'm not too good at that, shit
See, I could have me a good girl
And still be addicted to them hoodrats
And I just blame everything on you
At least you know that's what I'm good at
(CHORUS)
See, I always find
And I always find
Yeah, I always find somethin' wrong
You been puttin' up with my shit just way to long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast
Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can
Runaway from it baby.....
runaway......
runaway from it baby
Run away........
(if stuff gets crazy)...why cant she just runaway...
(baby i gotta plan)...runaway as fast as you can
runaway from it baby
24/7, 365, pussy stays on my mind
I-I-I-I did it, all right, all right, I admit it
Now pick your next move, you could leave or live wit' it
Ichabod Crane with that motherfucking top off
Split and go where? Back to wearin' knockoffs, hah
Knock it off, Neiman's, shop it off
Let's talk over mai tais, waitress, top it off
hoes like vultures wanna fly in your Freddy loafers
You can't blame 'em, they ain't never seen Versace sofas
Every bag, every blouse, every bracelet
Comes with a price tag, baby, face it
You should leave if you can't accept the basics
Plenty hoes in the baller-nigger matrix
Invisibly set, the Rolex is faceless
I'm just young, rich, and tasteless
P!
I was never much of a romantic
I could never take the intamacy
And i know it did damage
Plus the look in your eyes is killing me
I guess you have an advantage
You could blame me for everything
And i dont know what im'a manage
If one day you just up and leave
Oh and i alway find..
and i always find..
yeah i always find something wrong
You been puttin' up with my shit just way too long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast
Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can
