Movies in the Key of C

Honestly I have been done with these for awhile now and I was just postponing writing about them because I didn't want you guys to think all I do is watch movies all day. I mean that is all I do when I'm not at work but still I want you to think I have a life. Anyway I have 8 movies that start with C and so here is the picture.

In alphabetical order- Catch Me If You Can, Charlie & The chocolate Factory, Charlie's Angels, Chasing Amy, Clerks, Clerks 2, Click, and Cloverfield.

Best Movie: Catch Me If You Can. Granted it doesn't have the best morals to it but I really enjoyed this movie. Tom Hanks is quite simply amazing and Leo actually made me like him which is a surprise.

Worst Movie: Charlie's Angels. Okay I remember when this one came out and really enjoying the campiness of it all, but for some reason or another I really, REALLY didn't like it this time around. Maybe I have grown past the hot chicks + Explosions = great movie phase.... or this one is just really stupid. (thinks) yeah it's just really stupid.

Favorite Movie: Chasing Amy, Clerks, Clerks 2 (tie). I love Kevin Smith. I couldn't simply choose between the 3 (gun to my head Chasing Amy) so I didn't, after all it is my movie collection so I don't have to.

Most Surprisingly Good Movie: Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. Now I will admit to having very low expectations about this movie because I really haven't liked anything Tim Burton has done since Batman Returns but despite being twisted and creepy I actually liked the movie. Still doesn't touch the original but I still like this one.

Most Surprisingly Bad Movie: Click. Going in I didn't know what to expect. Sandler is touch and go in so many movies. He is either really good, or really bad. I wanted this one to be good though because the story had so much potential. One fat suit and happy ending later and I was thoroughly disappointed. I would have cut the crap about his fat slab, I would have gotten rid of the whole (spoiler but who actually cares?) it's all just a dream thing and ended it when he died. You still have the moral, and the movie would have been better for it. Not enough movies end sad these days.

Most Surprising Movie I Don't Own: Casablanca. As a certified movie nut how I don't own the single greatest love story of all time I will never know. It might have something to do with me being a boy, but as you will see later on that fact is kinda up in the air.

Why In The HECK Do I Own: Cloverfield. Okay I like monster movies. And I like romances. I do not like romances thinly veiled as monster movies. Do not give me Godzilla and turn it into when harry met sally. And yet, because I enjoyed a lot of the scenes and it did legitimately scare me at times I own this movie that as a whole I detest. Sometimes I don't get me.

Alright folks that is it for the letter C, I will be back with a Bruce Willis infused D list for you in the near future. In the mean time I suggest you check out my new side project and another blog that I write Mom 'n' Pop Video Shoppe. It's a movie blog that focuses more on older movies or lesser known movies that you may not have ever heard of. I will be essentially reviewing every movie that I watch until I get bored. This is where you see how big of a nerd I am and how I waste my free time.

I watched a movie

I know I talk about movies A LOT, but I still want to share this one with all of you. It is called "Dear Zachary, A Letter to a Son About His Father", and I discovered it through the blog filmschoolrejects.com and their little write up caught my eye and I decided I had to see this movie. I thought I was just going to watch a movie about someone with daddy issues but I was oh so wrong. What I witnessed instead was a moving, dramatic, emotional roller coaster that left me sick to my stomach with rage and confusion on how something like the events depicted in the movie were allowed to take place.

The story behind the documentary is actually quite simple. The director of the movie found out his best friend had died. As a tribute to him he decided to go around the country and interview every single person of whom his best friend had ever come in contact with. Over the course of the film it is revealed that his friend has left behind a son and now his film becomes a way for the filmmaker to share the person that was his father with his son. I am leaving out A LOT but I am doing that on purpose because I don't want to spoil any of this wonderful, heart wrenching movie. Right now it is available for streaming viewing on netflix and I recommend you go watch it. It is also available at any and every video store imaginable so if you don't have a netflix account you can still watch it. Shoot if you email me I will give you my sign in and password for netflix so you can watch this movie. THAT is how much I want you to see this film. Below is the trailer which I hope will lead you to want to see this film just as much as it did me. I can't promise you will enjoy the movie but I can say you will gain a new found love of those who care about you and love you through this movie. Please watch it.

It's hard out there when your life is so easy

So I have had a lot of time off recently. No my hours haven't been cut, I just managed to go 6 days and only working 13 hours. In all this time I have had a lot of time to think about things. My life is pretty easy going. I have zero complaints. None. The hardest thing I have to "deal" with is being responsible and growing as a person, and honestly that isn't too hard. And yet, I can't seem top bring myself to smile lately. It's not that I am depressed, I just don't have anything to smile for. It's like this conversation I had with Aimee last week, I was having a rough day due to a lot of my friends having a rough day/week/afternoon and the emotional toll it took on me was rough. She asked me if I was happy. I told her the fact that they (meaning the friends who came to cheer me up) were happy I was happy. She reiterated her question, "but Allen, are YOU happy?"

I didn't have an answer.

As I mentioned in passing in my last blog I seem to have forgotten how to feel. I have detached myself so much from everything and everyone through my constant complaining, joking, teasing, and a general "I don't care" malaise that I simply have a hard time grasping my own feelings and claiming them as my own. Sure I have my moments, when I'm making dinner for friends, when I am spending time with those I care about, or when I am coerced into baring my testimony in church by a great friend. But I can't figure out how to hold onto those feelings. What's the point of being happy when you are alone? Why bother smiling when you're at a computer, or waiting for the bus? Why waste the energy being upset when said bus is late? Or the people at the store are rude? Why should that effect my life at all? Simply put what's the point of emotions when you have no one to share them with?

I don't want to end this making you think I'm depressed or sad, because I'm not. Every single day there is always something, or someone that makes me remember the point of feelings. Even if it is just a simple joke stolen from a movie that very few people have seen. But the moments are there, and I am recognizing them more and more, and I haven't lost hope that I will eventually find someone who makes me happy even when they aren't there.

I smiled today, and that's a start.

Oh my gosh she was right

So many moons ago I got into an argument with an ex of mine. She claimed I didn't talk to her. I claimed she was clearly not paying attention and had never met me because I never shut up. Clearly I was right. I mean all I ever do is talk. I talk movies, I talk sports, I talk movies. I even talk about sports. I couldn't figure out what she was talking about. Today it hit me and I am not even sure why. She didn't mean I never talked, she meant I never talk about anything important. I never talk about me. I never let her in. She was right.

It isn't just her, I do this with everyone. I doubt I have a relationship that goes beyond me listening, waiting patiently to interject a punchline. I avoid talking about me with the over use of the words fine, okay, alright. My moods and feelings often get pushed to the back burner to be ignored in favor of listening and trying too hard to be funny, to be liked. Any website that I am a member of where I am supposed to write an about me section it's filled with basic trivial things about me or snide jokes that tell absolutely zero about who I am. Well today I am going to change that. I'm just going to write about me and maybe educate you on who I am and what type of trouble you got yourself into by becoming my friend. Don't worry it will be ridiculously long winded and you will grow tired of it quickly if you haven't already. I wouldn't want to stray far from my typical writing style.

• I was born June 1st, 1980 in Walla Walla, WA
  
• I have lived in 5 towns since I was born.
• my parents divorced when I was 7.
• since then my dad has remarried.
• I am an only child, aka Mormon oddity.
• In the 2nd grade I wrote all of my spelling words backwards in order to impress a girl. When my mom came home from talking to my teacher about this my excuse was that "I forgot how to write."
• my first girlfriend was named Missy Anderson in the 1st grade. I would walk her home from school every day for a month.
• I didn't realize this made her my girlfriend until I met her kid sister in a playground many years later and she recognized me as her older sister's old boyfriend.
• I had 3 different 4th grade classes.
• My best friends growing up were Shawn Trieber and Tyler Simons.
• I was able to read at a 4th grade level by the end of the 1st grade.
• I hate reading because of that.
• When I was little I would put puzzles together from the inside out instead of the outside in. This frustrated my mother to no end.
• I own over 4,000 football cards.
• I have been arrested for shoplifting 4 separate times. Once on my birthday.
• I have very little memory of my childhood before the age of 8.
• Both of my parents have been excommunicated from the church.
• Only my mother got rebaptized though my dad made it a point to support me when I received the Melkezedek priesthood.
• I have 2 sets of scriptures, they are both 10-15 years old though you wouldn't tell it by looking at them.
• I use a baby picture as a bookmark in my scriptures because when I was younger I chewed out ones that came in them out of boredom.
• I own a Lego Yoda that took me 3 days to put together.
• Growing up I would alphabetize the video games at our local mom and pop video store just for fun, eventually the ladies that worked there would give me free rentals for all the work I did.
• My mom enrolled me in the Boys & girls club for 3 straight summers. I hated it and would skip with Shawn and spend my lunch money at the local arcade.
• The arcade was a front from drug dealers and we innocently just played video games all day oblivious to what was happening around us.
• I could eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day of my life and be happy.
• I love to cook but I hate to cook for just myself so I rarely do.
• I have always had more friends that were younger than me than my own age or older.
  
• When it comes to sports I am very superstitious. I once watched an entire half of a 49ers playoff game from the bathroom because the 49ers didn't start scoring until I went to the bathroom.
• Speaking of the bathroom, when I was younger I would never pee in the toilet, but rather other odd places.
• Some of the more interesting places I have peed: out my second floor window. My upstairs sink and the central heating vent in my room when I was 6.
• I once split open a kids head by dropping a cinder block on him when I was 6.
• I am amazing at eavesdropping.
• I have eaten a 12 egg omelet in one sitting.
• I have only kissed 3 girls.
• I only remember 1 of their names.
• The one I remember isn't my first kiss but rather my last.
• I pretend I don't like hugs because it gets me more hugs.
• I regret my Myspace blog.
• I regret not breaking my no seconds dates rule sooner.
• I have awkward and weird conversations with people late at night.
• Because of that I think I shouldn't be allowed to talk to people beyond midnight.
• I took swimming lessons until I was 11.
• I never made it past the guppy level.
• Guppies for the uninformed are the 2nd level of swimming lessons and roughly ages 5-6.
• I still don't swim very well.
• I have one tattoo that I received while drunk from my stoner friend who was also drunk at the time.
• His tattoo gun was a motorized Bic pen filled with tattoo ink.
• The only reason I haven't gotten it removed is to remind me that stupid things happen when you drink and/or get high.
• I crave attention more than I crave food.
• I make friends very easily.
• It's keeping them I suck at.
• I will argue with you for no reason whatsoever. It's fun for me.
• I realize it is usually only fun for me and I don't care.
• It's especially fun when I argue for something I don't even believe.
• I once spent an entire hour arguing that the earth was shaped like a hockey puck.
• I was in drama club for 2 years in high school and appeared in 5 performances.
• I love making racially awkward comments while in the company of people who don't know me.
• I lactate butter.
• I owned a New Kids On the Block doll when I was a kid.
• I also had their comic book and all of their albums.
• I would have willingly shared a bed with Michael Jackson simply because of Thriller.
• My first R rated movie that I saw was Commando. My dad took me to see it.
• I didn't live on my own until I was 24.
• I never felt stronger spiritually than I did in the Pasco 7th Branch.
• tried out for the highs school football team 3 separate years.
• I quit 2 days in every year because it was too hard.
• I was a member of 3 separate graduating classes, '98, '99, and 2000.
• I don't think I would be a member of the church if it wasn't for that 6th year of high school and Liz Allen.
• I can't sleep unless there is some noise.
• I wish I had been the one to have MS and not my mom.
• I don't regret not serving a mission because I realize now how important those 2 years after high school were for my mom.
• One of my most prized possessions is a bank in the shape of a monkey carved out of a coconut.
• I often forget that it's important to feel.
• I love rap music, but as I have grown up I have become picky about who I listen to.
• I am the very definition of a curmudgeon.
• I am an emotional sponge. If you are happy I am happy, if you are sad I am sad.
• I am horrible on the phone and would much rather just text you about anything.
• I send and receive about6,000 texts a month.
• I once stayed up late at night throwing ninja stars at the walls and ceiling of my friend's room. His mom was so mad she kicked me out of the house and wouldn't even let me come over to help repair the damages.
• I used to think my dad was a ninja.
• Turns out he was just a nerd with a fascination with the martial arts and their weapons.
• I spent a large portion of my childhood in therapy.
• None of it helped as much as having a blog.
• When I am scared I make horrible jokes to hide my pain.
• I meant horrible in them being inappropriate or mean, not bad or not funny.
• In fact I think that is when I am funniest.
• I am a professional wrestling fan.
• I am such a pro wrestling fan that I have been to at least a dozen live shows including Wrestlemania.
• Yes I know it's not real, guess what? I don't care.
• Despite all of the horrible things to happen to me in my life I would not change any of them.
• I love my job and I can't see me working anywhere else.
• I know more about you than you probably realize.
• I will not apologize for being a democrat just as I don't expect you to apologize for being a republican.
• That being said I also never, ever EVER want to talk politics with any of you. I really don't care all that much.
• I am not afraid to quote blogs I read and claim their thoughts as my own if I agree with them.
• I make horrible first impressions, but if you look past them I make amazing 3rd and 4th impressions.
• I own over $100 in hair product.
• I rarely use any of it.
• it bothers me when people I know see me in ugly clothes that don't fit right.
• I always have to stop and look at myself in a mirror when I see one.
• I own over 50 different ties.
• I have over 9,800 twitter updates.
• I am actually proud of that.
• I constantly afraid I won't have the approval and love of my family.
• I found my mom laying in a pool of her own vomit in the 4th grade and dialed 9-1-1.
• I was actually calm and at ease with them and they were able to save her.
• I still wish I had done more.
• I don't think I would be as funny as I am if it wasn't for my father.
• I have had complete conversations consisting of only George Carlin quotes and laughter.
• When I started going to RHS I spent lunch waiting outside my math class waiting for lunch to be over for 2 months before I had any friends.
• I secretly hated all the friends I had that year and yet I tried ridiculously hard to fit in with them.
• How I made friends in High School: One night I stayed up really late and got the idea to tape a piece of paper to my chest and see how many people would stop and read it.
• The paper said "Yes, my good luck paper is working, beautiful women are staring at me."
• people laughed, and as a result I did the same thing every day for 3 months with different sayings from George Carlin's book "Brain Droppings" on them.
• I told people they were my own so they would like me.
• I'm convinced most of them just felt sorry for me.
• I know all of the words to most Outkast songs and will sing along with them as soon as I hear them regardless of who is around.
• I contend the funniest word in the English language is "Monkey".
• I once laughed for 3 hours straight because of the name Tutankhamen.
• No I wasn't high.
  
• I still don't know why I thought that was funny.
• I did stand up comedy for the seminary talent show the year I graduated.
• I had my seminary teacher read my jokes to okay them for a church audience.
  
• Surprisingly he approve of them.
• Later on he told me he didn't think they were funny on paper and he was worried I was going to look stupid. But he really enjoyed them when I actually performed my routine.
• They were all jokes I stole from lesser known comedians I love.
• My cousin still talks about that night with great pride.
• he was convinced I was going to say something crass and inappropriate.
  
• I still perform these jokes when there is a talent show.
• I have 3 different families that I belong to.
• My favorite celebrities to meet are comedians, they have always been so kind and gracious and humble about who they are.
• I wish I gave more money to the homeless men and women I see at night.
• I have broken 3 sofas and a table because of my weight.
• just the thought of that makes me want to live on a diet of laxatives and diet pills.
• If a DVD comes in an awkwardly shaped box, I WILL BUY IT.
• Over 1/3rd of my movies are movies I have never seen before.
• I have abandonment issues because of my relationship with my father.
• I have a fear of intimacy because of my father.
• I love my father and I still want to be just like him when I become a parent.
• That last one scares me.
• I buy expensive things in order to get people to like me.
• I love the Town House Flipside Cracker, and it makes me cry when my grocery store doesn't carry them.
• If you think Dane Cook is funny we are not friends.
• I never buy more than a day's worth of groceries at the store.
• I hate processed foods and I will try to use fresh produce as often as possible.
• I judge people by their movie collections.
  
• I own a copy of Blankman.
• I am intimidated by the people in Gospel principles class because they are more scripturally astute compared to me.
• My testimony is the greatest gift I have ever received.
• I am selfish though and I hate sharing it with others for fear it isn't strong enough.
• I cried at my mother's baptism when my Cousin Rob sang I Am a Child of God by himself because I was too self righteous to sing with him.
• I hate that song because of that day and how I acted.
• I have no idea how to end this.
  

Birthdays and Baseball

I wasn't always a baseball fan. In fact I distinctly remember in my interview one of the first questions asked was if I was a fan of the Mariners. The girl I had my group interview ecstatically went on and on about how she loved the team and going to games. I shrugged my shoulders and said that I had only been to two MLB baseball games my entire life and I went mostly for the environment. I even admitted to being more of a football fan.

She didn't get the job, I obviously did. Since then I have become a follower and a fan. I went to about 20 games last year for various reasons ranging from boredom to family and everything in between. If I open and there is a game that night, chances are I am going to that game even if I don't have friends going with me. I won't say that baseball has supplanted my love of the NFL but it has officially taken root in my life and I don't expect it to go anywhere regardless of if I remain employed by the Mariners.

Every year for the last 2 years I have been at Safeco Field on my birthday, and every year it has been one of the more memorable days of the year. Two years ago I was working, I had forgot to request it off. I forget what the big event was on this day but i do remember being asked by Marc our boss down at the ballpark the ever important question "What day is it?" To which led to this conversation:

me: "my birthday"
Marc: "really?"
me: "yeah, and you made me work ya jerk"
Marc: "you shoulda requested it off it isn't my fault"

I believe that cemented the love my job, because there are very few people who can get away with calling their boss a jerk, in front of the entire staff, and not get reprimanded at all.

After transitioning out of the ballpark at the end of the '07 season and into Bellevue Square I was able to actually plan my birthday party around going to the baseball game. The only issue was my birthday was on a Sunday this year. And with almost all of my friends that I wanted to spend time with on this oh so special day being Mormon and actually wanting to be seen as good people I wasn't sure how many people would want to come to the game with me.

I invited everyone. I wasn't expecting a huge turnout so I figured the more I invited the more fun Mormons I would corrupt and convince to join me. I think i had 14 people come join me at the ballpark. We had $7 center field bleacher seats and it was a lot of fun. My good friend Zach came in from the Tri-Cities to spend the entire week with me, we even took in 5 baseball games that week. My ex girlfriend Tori came to visit and brought two of her close friends with her from Yakima, and then some of my best and closest Seattle friends also came along for the game. Aimee was even kind enough to make homemade cracker jacks for everyone complete with prizes. The only aspect of my life not represented was my Lewiston Years, a transgression I hope to resolve soon. We had a glorious time, the Mariners lost (if you paid any attention to Seattle sports last year that was kinda common practice.) but it didn't matter, I was with my friends and I was happy.

This year once again the Mariners have a home game on my birthday. They face Baltimore and it's on a Monday. Once again I invited everyone. It's 1/2 family night down at the ballpark which means $10 seats and we actually get decent seats this year. I don't know how good the game will be, and I don't really know who's gonna come (so far 22 people have said yes and 25 people have said maybe. Like I said I invited everyone) but I do know that regardless it's impossible to have a bad time when there is baseball and birthdays especially when you have friends like I do who constantly bring joy to my life just by being in it.

temptation and overcoming

Confession: I love a good screwball mad cap comedy full of dirty jokes, filthy language and male bonding. Judd Aptow and Kevin Smith are two of the finniest filmmakers around and they can do no wrong in my eyes. I could watch the 40 year old virgin a million times and it would continue to be funny. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is one of the funniest movies I have EVER seen. Don't even get me started on Clerks 2. Once again they can do no wrong in my eyes and I will always support them as filmmakers in one way or another.

However, I have also recently realized that while I enjoy these movies with a passion I am constantly using this phrase with my friends "you don't want to see this movie, but it is SOOOO good!" or "this is so inappropriate but there are some good parts in it" my personal favorite was Forgetting Sarah Marshall "sure you see his penis 9 times but it was done for comedic effect and it was so awkwardly funny!" (yes I said that. multiple times in fact.) and I realized something today when I was listening to themovieblog.com's review for "I Love You, Man" a movie I fully intended on seeing this weekend, that I was most likely going to have to say those things again. I was going to tell people they shouldn't watch something because it was against standards I claimed to share with them, and yet I was fully going to enjoy and ignore my own advice.

Why should I be exempt from my own judgements? Why is it that I deemed those things appropriate for me and yet not for someone else? It was a double standard and hypocritical of me to suggest that I was above the standards I claim to follow.

Now don't get me wrong, I will still watch R rated movies. I have been and I have a feeling I always will be a believer that the MPAA is bogus and biased in their rating system (I might expound on this in a later blog if I have the urge) and that we shouldn't actually pay any attention to whether a movie is PG or R when it comes time to watch a movie. It is our duty as a consumer to pay attention to early discussions, watch trailers, read articles, essentially DO RESEARCH about a movie you have interest in seeing and judge for yourself if you think the content in it is appropriate for you or not.

Instead what I am saying is I am not going to watch a movie that I would tell any of my friends not to watch due to content.... in theaters. I added that last little bit partially because I know I will probably watch them on DVD eventually especially the ones that I already own thanks to my resolution. However I will not be purchasing them either, and with any luck I will reach a point in the near future where I will be strong enough to take all my inappropriate movies to Half Price Books and be rid of that part of my life. However until then... baby steps.

Gold and Green Blah

Okay remember how much I ripped into the New Year's Dance? How most of the things I said I liked about it were the freaks and weird people that were there? Yeah well the Gold and Green Ball was even worse. I have never felt so out of place and so without a solid reason for being somewhere than I did Saturday night. As my good friend Sarah Pearce mentioned of the festivities "It is like a Junior High prom!", except I would add "for the special Olympics".

I can't fault the people there for being able to find a way to have fun while they were there. They are better people than I. They were able to enjoy the horrible music, the overly bright room, the awkwardly out of place light shows, the even worse than HORRIBLE music, and the strange guys wearing fake mustaches who are there to hit on every girl in the room in hopes of finding the 3 with low standards and no self control/worth. Here is just a brief listing of the people and things I enjoyed about this event once I started searching for the silver lining.

• At least my friends there had style and class. Everyone else either looked like they just decided to wear the same clothes they wore to casual Friday at work or the most absurd and/or unfortunate outfit they had in their closet to pass off as formal wear. Oh the bridesmaids dresses (not you Laney you looked cute I promise) and ridiculous suits were out in full force.
• I learned 347843753 new line dances! Seriously Mormons can (and will) line dance to EVERYTHING. I realize touching is completely wrong and full of cooties but you know you can dance in other geographical shapes right? Why is there no Octagon dancing? Complete with UFC fighting in the middle.
• Also apparently it is completely normal to ballroom dance to Pink. And Rhianna. And Vanilla Ice (we will talk about that later). Let me give you a hint here people - you look stupid. There is a time to ballroom dance (the 18th century) and a place to ballroom dance (gym class), and despite it's name the Gold and Green Ball is NOT one of them. Especially when they are playing hip hop.
• Vanilla Ice is even sorry for Ice Ice Baby, why must we continue to pretend it is enjoyable?
  This is not a good song! You know who like this song? Idiots and children. I listened to it when it came out and even I had the decency to say "I like MC Hammer more." HAMMER!!!! If you are categorizing hip hop music and you are ranked below HAMMER, it is time for your music to go away.
• "excuse me Allen but we need to go stand next to some attractive boys now." Only Bridgette, Leah and Sarah could get away with saying this and not make me feel like I am hideous and want to shoot myself.
• Once again the food was top rate, though a bit too much for anyone's breath. Kudos again to Bridgette.
• Reuniting with old friends is fun though also a bit of a let down. Not my actual friends mind you, just my friends from the new Year's dance. Stick guy left his stick at home, Alien guy looks more and more normal the more I see him, there were no glow stick related injuries, bumblebee girl didn't look like a bumblebee and it even looks like she finally hit a growth spurt since last time. I was hoping for a revival of my feelings of joy from the last dance and I was met with a surprising amount of normal.
• Oh but there were freaks a plenty. during the aforementioned Ice Ice Baby i saw a guy essentially rape an Asian girl on the dance floor. there were a total of 3 little people there, 2 were even there as a couple. I learned the importance of modesty thanks to a large girl with no sleeves who's arms looked like she could flap them and fly away and enough cleavage to smother an army (and not the good kind of cleavage). And my favorite person of the whole night - white snoop dogg. It seriously looked like he took all his fashion advice from "from G's to Gents" and yet still got it wrong.

So all in all it was another fun evening of people watching with some of my favorite people with taste. The snark was in full effect and honestly, I can't wait for the next big dance so we can do it all again.