Goodbye

There are friendships in my life that tend to go on for too long. Either I get tired of them, or they get tired of me, but they should have ended long before they actually do.

Then there are friendships in my life that never seem to end, but they change and evolve into less of a friendship and more of a acquaintanceship and then into "Oh yeah I know that guy/girl, I wonder if they remember me."

Other friendships grow and evolve from that one random kid that you kinda know, into the closest friendship one can have without becoming lovers. You know each others thoughts and needs. When you need a shoulder they are there with two. When you want a laugh they will give you more than your share. When you need your space, they flat out refuse. It's the type of friendship that you cherish for a lifetime. It changes your entire life, but you don't really recognize it until it's gone.

Today I lost a friend of four years to a bright future doing something that he has known his entire life that he has wanted to do but only recently decided to pursue. The selfish part of me wants to sneak over to his house tonight and slash his tires. However the logical side of me knows that isn't going to stop him. There is part of my mind that really hopes he changes his mind and decides that the safe and easy route is the better one for him to take. Again, I know him too well. If he wanted safe he wouldn't have traveled the road he's taken to get to this point in his life so why would he stop now?

I know how this story ends, and it isn't good for me, but I am getting better. Kurt will go on to do many great things and change many, many lives. It's in his blood, and it's in his heart. And I am proud of him for all the decisions that he has made.

In all honesty I don't know if I will see him again, I wish I could be as steadfast as he is when he says he's coming back, but as I learned with Dean even when they come back they don't really come back the same. However I do know that through the many memories I have with Kurt from these last four years will live with me forever and the lessons he has taught me will continue to teach me throughout the rest of my life.

Thank you Kurt. And I love you.